Undefined Success Rate

150 Good Songs

2010-03-19T22:09:00.003-04:00

I was looking for songs to put on my annual driving with the windows down CD and I randomly searched "Good Songs". What I found was a lot of lists of good songs, none of which I thought were all that good. So here is my own list. Keep in mind this isn't a list of my favourite songs, or the best songs. Just good songs. I'm going to try not to repeat artists, and I won't necessarily name my favourite song by an artist, just the first good song I can think of. In no particular order.

1. Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby
2. Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz
3. We're Not Deep - the Housemartins
4. Stay Up Late - The Talking Heads
5. Jingle of a Dogs Collar - Butthole Surfers
6. Toxic - Brittany Spears
7. Hey Ya - Outkast
8. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger - Daft Punk
9, Smooth Criminal - Micheal Jackson
10. Don't Think Twice It's Allright - Bob Dylan
11. It's The End of The World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) - REM
12. Parklife - Blur
13. Lipgloss - Pulp
14. Wonderful, Wonderful - Johny Mathis
15. On the Radio - Regina Spektor
16. One Gun - 54-40
17. Ping Pong - Stereolab
18. Come Back to Me - Cherry Poppin' Daddies
19. Erie Canal - Bruce Springstein
20. Mexican Radio - Devo
21. Mack the Knife - Bobby Darin
22. Substitute - The Who
23. Twentysomething - Jamie Cullum
24. Don't Walk Away - Kelly Clarkson
25. Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel
26. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover - Paul Simon
27. Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick - Ian Drury and the Blockheads
28. Frontier Psychiatrist - The Avalanches
29. Electioneering - Radiohead
30. 303 - Kula Shaker
31. So Long And Thanks For All the Fish - Neil Hannon
32. Caught a Light Sneeze - Tori Amos
33. The Mending of the Gown - Sunset Rubdown
34. Hey Bulldog - The Beatles
35. I Guess That's Why They Call it The Blues - Elton John
36. 10538 Overture - ELO
37. Devil's Answer - Atomic Rooster
38. You Can't Always Get What You Want - Rolling Stones
39. Ain't that Peculiar - Smokey Robinson
40. Something for the Weekend - The Divine Comedy
41. These Days Are Old - Spookey Ruben
42. Single Ladies - Beyonce
43. The Lines You Amend - Sloan
44. You're The Boss - Brian Setzer Orchestra
45. Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
46. Flashlight - Parliament
47. Givin' Up - The Darkness
48. Right Said Fred - Bernard Cribbans
49. E Pro - Beck
50. Harvest - Neil Young
51. Cry Me a River - Joe Cocker
52. What Goes Around (Comes Around) - Justin Timberlake
53. Traveller In Time - Uriah Heap
54. Making Plans For Nigel - XTC
55. Tainted Love - Softcell
56. This Charming Man - The Smiths
57. Suspicious Minds - Elvis Presley
58. Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot
59. You're My Best Friend - Queen
60. Dune Buggy - Presidents of the United States of America
61. Sound and Vision - David Bowie
62. Help Me Rhonda - The Beach Boys
63. Head Over Feet - Tears For Fears
64. ABC - Jackson Five
65. Famous Blue Raincoat - Leonard Cohen
66. American Wedding - Gogol Bordello
67. Kids - MGMT
68. Alone + an Easy Target - Foo Fighters
69. Cherub Rock - Smashing Pumpkins
70. Spanish Bombs - The Clash
71. If I Had A Million Dollars - the Barenaked Ladies
72. Up On The Roof - The Drifters
73. Rock Lobster - The B52s
74. Your Woman - White Town
75. Van Halen - Nerf Herder
76. Creeper - Islands
77. I Was Born a Unicorn - The Unicorns
78. Little Ghost - The White Stripes
79. Look Good In Leather - Cody Chestnut
80. Paper Planes - MIA
81. If I Only Knew - Tom Jones
82. New York Telephone Conversation - Lou Reed
84. Buddy Holly - Weezer
85. Money For Nothing - Dire Straits
86. Hot And Cold - Katy Perry
87. Doctor Who (Is Gonna Fix It) - Bullamakanka
88. King Of the Road - Roger Miller
89. Hard To Explain - The Strokes
90. Holland 1945 - Neutral Milk Hotel
91. Ban Marriage - The Hidden Cameras
92. Mary Mac - Great Big Sea
93. Bang, Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) - Nancy Sinatra
94. Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode
95. Transmission - Joy Divison
96. Army - Ben Folds Five
97. Bye Bye Love - The Everly Brothers
98. Danger (High Voltage) - The Electric Six
99. Girls On Film - Duran Duran
100. Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
101. I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters
102. All These Things That I Have Done - The Killers
103. The Twist - Metric
104. Sabotage - Beastie Boys
105. Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger
106. Lessons Learned from Rocky I to Rocky III - Cornershop
107. Papa Don't Preach - Madonna
108. Supersonic - Oasis
109. Basket Case - Green Day
110. Groove Is In The Heart - Deeelite
111. Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana
112. Message In a Bottle - The Police
113. Centerfold - J Geils Band
114. Friends Of P - The Rentals
115. Bang a Gong - T Rex
116. Mother Of Pearl - Roxy Music
117. Well Respected Man - The Kinks
118. Dreaming - Blondie
119. Summertime - Billy Stewart
120. House Of The Rising Sun - Animals
121. Hit The Road Jack - Ray Charles
122. I Am I Said - Neil Diamond
123. The Beat Goes On - Sonny and Cher
124. It's The Same Old Song - The Four Tops
125. The Infanta - The Decemberists
126. I Heard It Through the Grapevine - CCR
127. Poker Face - Lady Gaga
128. When Doves Cry - Prince
129. The Way - Fastball
130. Waiting For Superman - The Flaming Lips
131. Burnin' Down The House - Tom Jones and the Cardigans
132. In The Meantime - Spacehog
133. Dream On - Aerosmith
134. Major Tom (Coming Home) - Peter Schilling
135. 16 Tons - Tennessee Earl Ford
136. Photocorners - The Lovely Feathers
137. I'll Believe in Anything - Wolf Parade
138. Hot Patootie (Bless My Soul) - Meatloaf
139. Voo Doo Child - Rogue Traders
140. Alison - Elvis Costello
141. Circles - Soul Coughing
142. The Longest Time - Billy Joel
143. Hips Don't Lie - Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean
144. Rock Me Amadeus - Falco
145. Shadaroba - Roy Orbison
146. Bye Bye Bye - Nsync
147. Camelwalk - Southern Culture on the Skids
148. Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
149. Crazy - Seal
150. Crazy - Patsy Cline
151. Crazy - Pylon

RIP Kate McGarrigle

2010-01-19T14:24:00.001-05:00

Frankie Says Relax`

2010-01-11T16:02:00.001-05:00

I meant to add this on yesterdays Scottish Hall of Fame post, but I forgot. Here's Frankie Boyle on Mock the Week. An Agony Aunt appears to be an advice columnist.

Scottish Hall of Fame

2010-01-11T01:10:00.004-05:00

I recently read a post on my friend Melinda's blog about her birthday party. Her friends threw her a "So I Married an Axe Murderer" theme party. Which is the most hilariously awesome and obscure theme I've ever encountered! On her post she has a picture of a wall, I'm assuming in her house, titled "Scottish Wall of Fame". As a service to Melinda (call it a belated birthday present) I've come up with a few suggestions for her to add to her wall.

1. Groundskeeper Willie
No one is sure if Willie is from Aberdeen or Glasgow, but he was recently named the most recognizeable Scot in a US poll. Also, he's really funny.

2. Frankie Boyle
Frankie is Glaswegian Comedian (that's a fun rhyme) who is best known for his dark and often controversial humour. He was regular on Mock the Week for the last seven seasons, and everything that comes out of his mouth is comic gold!

3. Do I even need to explain?

4. Scrooge McDuck
Because more houses need to have Scrooge McDuck on their walls.

Holiday Recap

2009-12-29T12:31:00.003-05:00

I'm sitting here at my parent's house in the middle of nowhere. It's Dec 29th and I go back to work tomorrow. Bummer. When it's all been said and done I'll have only been home for about 90 hours. After such a quiet Christmas it's so nice to come home to a big Larabie family get together. We had a quiet dinner with the immediate family on boxing day. Then spent the day at Sandy Beach with the whole family. Yesterday we went to the quaint town of Picton for a ridiculous amount of second hand shopping with mom. I've never seen anyone get a deal like her, although Emilie is a close second. I also ate the best bowl of soup I've ever had at a small coffee shop called The Bean Counter. If you're even in Picton it's right across the street from the giant tiger. It was potato bacon soup and it's bumped me into a new soup bracket. That evening I visited my oldest friend Erin, and went and saw Sherlock Holmes. I thoroughly enjoyed Sherlock Holmes and I think io9's Annalee Newitz' said it best in her review.

"In a season full of swollen special effects blockbusters and annoying Christmas stories, badboy Brit director Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes is a welcome respite. It's a simple whodunnit with Victorian flourishes and a lot of incredibly hammy acting from star Robert Downey, Jr., playing Holmes as a badass Hunter Thompson type. When he's not solving crimes or using his powers of observation to kick bad guys in the nuts, Downey's Holmes mopes in his rooms, taking drugs and testing new kinds of explosives. Jude Law plays Watson with tweedy aplomb. Downey and Law have such incredible chemistry together that every scene featuring the two of them crackles with homoerotic zing and makes you fall completely in love with these two masters of logic who can also fight like Irish wrestlers (did I mention the great Irish wrestling scene? oh yeah)."

Today, my last full day before going back to the city. The whole family, aunts uncles and cousin's are coming to our house for a game night. How fun is that? We even have a trophy that we got at M.O.D. in Picton. All and all it was a fantastic holiday, and thats not even counting the presents. Thanks to all my family for making it so wonderful.

Long Overdue!

2009-12-12T17:55:00.005-05:00

I'm back! Although I never really left, just got a new computer with a keyboard that doesn't really work, and makes typing really painstaking and annoying. I came accross an article today "the worst album covers of the decade" and I had to post a comparison.

First MC Hammers "Look Look Look" Album Cover

And now...Doctor Who.

I assume this will lead to some reslly awesome crossovers. Or some really terrible fanfic.

...a tropical heatwave!

2009-08-18T06:44:00.002-04:00

Today Emilie pointed out that it is day 12 of the heatwave. I don't know if that's right but it sure feels like it. I would just like to point out that I never complained about the rainy, cool July we had - therefore it's unfair that I'm this hot.

BRING BACK THE COLD SUMMER!

Favourite Songs: Musicals

2009-07-27T14:15:00.004-04:00

I'm not sure if this is nerdier or less nerdy than my classical music list. But here we go! Favourite songs from musicals (many of which I haven't actually seen) and my favourite performers of said songs.

1. With One Look - From Sunset Boulevard (performed by Petula Clark)

2. Sunset Boulevard - From Sunset Boulevard (performed by John Barrowman)

3. Sweet Transvestite - From Rocky Horror - Anthony Stewart Head

4. Ya Got Trouble - The Music Man - Robert Preston

5. On The Rise - Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog - Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day

Really anything from Dr. Horrible, it's so hard to pick one.

6. Wig in a Box - Hedwig and the Angry Inch - John Cameron Mitchell

Sad that he's prettier than me.

7. At The Opera Tonight - Repo: The Genetic Opera - Anthony Head, Alexa Vega, Sarah Brightman, Paul Sorvino, Bill Mosley, Ogre, Paris Hilton et al.

Favourite Songs: Classical

2009-07-26T08:22:00.002-04:00

My lists of favourite music tends to rotate a lot. Not only favourite songs, but favourite genres as well. Lately I've been listening to a lot of Classical again, it's soooo good! Here are some of my favourite (lesser known pieces).

1. The Castle (#4 Bydlo) from Pictures at an Exhibition by Mussorgsky

2. First Suite in Eflat for Military Band - Gustav Holst

3. English Folk Song Suite (Seventeen Come Sunday) - Raiph Vaughn Williams

4. Symphony #1 (Titan) - Mvt 3 - Gustav Mahler

5. Finlandia - Jean Sibelius

TV Shows You Should Invest Time in

2009-07-11T19:32:00.004-04:00

Do you have a lengthy recovery coming up? Last year when I had my numerous eye surgeries I used my down time to catch up on TV. Since then I've used various "downtimes" (that on is in quotes because it wasn't really downtime, it was time when I didn't feel like doing anything producttive) to rent/buy/borrow DVDs of entire TV series and watch the whole thing in a couple of sittings. I can't believe I used to watch TV week to week like a savage! Anyway below is a list of my favourite TV shows to watch marathon style.

1. Lost (Seasons so far 5, hours of investment about 76)
As my sister says this "is a lot of show". It's not the type you can watch out of order, or sporadically, so if you've got a lot of time on your hands, and you're able to pay attention for a while this is a great series. Highly addictive as most of the episodes end in a WTF cliffhanger. I can't imagine having to wait months to find out what was in that hatch!

2. Life on Mars (UK) (Seasons 2, hours of investment 16)
Unlike the US version the original series is fantastic! Creative and dark, but funny and quotable as well. Phillip Glenister and John Simm are a perfect match. The DVDs are finally coming out in region one this summer. Do yourself a favour and check it out. I loved this series so much I bought the region 2 DVDs to watch on my sisters laptop.

3. Mad Men (Seasons so far 2, hours of investment about 25)
Slow moving but so worth it! It's not the most action packed show, but it sure looks nice. The characters are interesting and multidimensional, and the subtlety in the writing is superb. Each episode looks like a mini movie, and costs about as much to make.

4. Arrested Development (Seasons 3, hours of investment about 27)
If you haven't watched this show yet then you're missing out. Probably the cleverist sitcom of all time, I can watch it again and again and never get tired of it. Watch the first few episodes in order, but once you get a feel for the characters you can bounce around without losing much.

July is List Month!

2009-07-03T19:09:00.003-04:00

Apparently the first week of July is list week for the Toronto Star. Since I don't blog every day (or every month for that matter -- sheesh), I've decided to celebrate list week all July! Awesome Sauce!

Today's list --
Real Side Effects as stated in the commercial for Lyrica (an anticonvulsant/neuropathic pain treatment)

* Dizziness
* Drowsiness
* Coordination problems
* Weight gain
* Dry mouth
* Infections
* Headaches
* Accidental injury
* Shakiness (tremors)
* Memory loss, problems concentrating, or slow thinking
* Constipation
* Speech problems
* Weakness
* Increased appetite
* Problems walking
* Twitching
* A spinning sensation
* Chest pain
* Gas
* Unexplained pleasant or happy feelings
* Vomiting
* Back pain
* Bladder control problems
* Flu-like symptoms (such as body aches and chills)
* Low blood sugar
* Nervousness
* Fatigue
* Feeling abnormal or drunk
* Sinus infections
* Joint pain
* Muscle spasms.
* Signs of congestive heart failure, including difficulty breathing and water retention or swelling (especially in the hands, legs, or feet)
* Unusual bruising or bleeding
* An irregular heart rhythm
* Any vision changes, including blurred vision or double vision
* A need to take more Lyrica than prescribed, especially if you think you may be dependent or addicted to Lyrica
* Unexplained muscle pain or weakness, especially if accompanied by a fever and fatigue
* Anxiety or confusion
* Signs of an allergic reaction, including unexplained rash, hives, itching, and unexplained swelling
* Suicidal thinking or behavior
* Sensitivity to the sun
* A stiff neck
* Hangovers
* Canker sores
* Anemia
* Hiccups
* Hair loss
* Dry skin
* Dry eyes
* Taste changes
* Kidney stones
* Menstrual problems.

yikes.

Sounds of Summer

2009-05-28T14:20:00.005-04:00

Even before I read Melinda's playlist post I was planning on doing my own. When you drive as much as I do (about 250+ KM a week) you plow through playlists pretty quickly. I'm really fond of the one I have now thanks to a few of my own simple rules.

1. Never put the same artist on twice (unless the songs sound very different -- which is pretty much never).
2. Keep all songs under 5 minutes. My attention span seems to run out at about three and a half minutes but if its a great song I'll listen to up to four but after that I'm usually bored.
3. Try to mix up genres and tempos and styles.
4. Put at least two mellow songs on back to back - this will be a good place to start the CD if you're driving in the early morning or evening, and don't want to get too pumped up.
5. Make sure you put on songs you like. This seems obvious -- but many times I've put on songs I didn't really know, but liked the band. Bad idea, you'll just keep skipping to the next song.

With this in mind here is my current playlist.

1. The Mending of the Gown - Sunset Rubdown (from Random Spirit Lover, released 2007)

2. Major Tom (Coming Home) - Peter Schilling (Error in the System, 1983)

3. Breakthru - Queen (The Miracle, 1989)

4. Lipgloss - Pulp (His & Hers, 1994)

5. When Doves Cry - Prince (Purple Rain, 1984)

6. Decision/Indecision - Atomic Rooster (In Hearing Of, 1971)

7. Wonderful, Wonderful - Johnny Mathis (Wonderful, Wonderful, 1957)

8. F.E.A.R - Ian Brown (Music Of The Spheres, 2001)

9. Voo Doo Child - Rogue Traders (Here Come the Drums, 2005)

10. Happy Hour - The Housemartins (London 0 Hull 4, 1986)

11. Thrill Seeker - The Divine Comedy (Fin de Sièclem, 1988)

12. J.Lo vs K.Co vs. S.Wo - Lenlow (Independent, 2004 click here for website)
{Mash up Between Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box; Nirvana - The Man Who Sold the World; Stevie Wonder - Superstition; J-Lo - Jenny from the Block }

13. Brand New Day - Neil Patrick Harris (Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog Soundtrack, 2009)

14. Photocorners - The Lovely Feathers (Hind Hind Legs, 2006)

15. Gamma Ray - Beck (Modern Guilt, 2008)

16. Mongoloid - Devo (Q. Are We Not Devo? A. We Are Devo! 1977)

17. Lessons Learned from Rocky I to Rocky III (Handcream for a Generation, 2002)

18. Sabotage - Beastie Boys (Ill Communication, 1994)

19. Time to Pretend - MGMT (Oracular Spectacular, 2008)

That's all for now folks. I expect I'll be sick of these songs come July.

Nerd it up! (again!)

2009-05-20T18:09:00.004-04:00

Apparently May 25th isn't just Towel Day but also "Nerd Pride Day" that's a lot to celebrate! This day celebrates the right for everyone to be a geek. It started in Spain in 2006 a quick list of rights and responsibilities was made up for nerds as well.

A manifesto was created to celebrate the first Nerd Pride Day which included the following list of basic rights and responsibilities of nerds.

Rights:

The right to be even nerdier.
The right to not leave your house.
The right to not have a significant other and to be a virgin.
The right to not like football or any other sport.
The right to associate with other nerds.
The right to have few friends (or none at all).
The right to have all the nerdy friends that you want.
The right to not be "in-style."
The right to be overweight and have poor eyesight.
The right to show off your nerdiness.
The right to make an attempt at being as nerdy as Morgana Summers, and the right to fail.
The right to develop serious crushes on Randall Munroe & Bo Burnam, as opposed to James Franco. (See 12).
The right to execute shameless self advertisement via the Wikipedia Geek Pride Day page. (See 12).
The right to carry a thesaurus with you at all times.
The right to falsely assume the surnames Finkleton, Waldman, Stratzer and Krukemeyer.
The right to take over the world.

Responsibilities:

Be a nerd, no matter what.
Try and be nerdier than anyone else.
If there is a discussion about something nerdy, you must give your opinion.
Save any and all nerdy things you have.
Do everything you can to show off your nerdy stuff as though it were a "museum of nerdiness."
Don't be a generalized nerd. You must specialize in something.
Attend every nerdy movie on opening night and buy every nerdy book before anyone else.
Wait in line on every opening night. If you can go in costume or at least with a related t-shirt, all the better.
Don't waste your time on anything not related to nerddom.
Try to take over the world!

(Geek rights and responsibilites found on Wikipedia, T-shirt available at ThinkGeek)

DON'T PANIC!!

2009-05-19T20:05:00.003-04:00

This Monday (May 25th) is Towel Day!

Towel Day is a day for fans to celebrate the life and work of Douglas Adams, authour of The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, by carrying a towel around with them all day. The first celebration of Towel Day was in 2001, two weeks after Adams' death. The towel, is widely regarded by Intergalactic Hitch Hiker's as the most useful of useful objects -- as explained in this quote from The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in "Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)

So if you love the Hitch Hiker's guide, or Douglas Adams grab your towel and take it with you wherever you go! And if you haven't read the Hitch Hiker's guide books, I suggest you do so! This is year is the 30th anniversary and they are being republished in North America in the fall! Share and Enjoy!

Free Comic Book Day

2009-05-01T23:25:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow (May 2nd) is Free Comic Book Day! It's exactly what it sounds like, most independent comic book stores in North America will be offering free comics all day! For realsies! Big B in Hamilton has free food too!

(Gate)Way to ruin my night!

2009-04-23T18:13:00.002-04:00

Don't buy a Gateway computer!

Well, ok you can buy one but God help you if you need to speak to their customer service or tech support. I should have known when the website said "100% US based support service" if I have any American readers I'm sorry but you Yanks just aren't as polite as us Canadians are used to. I was talking online for nearly an hour with Gateway, and for some reason they informed me I was unable to purchase a replacement AC Adapter for a lap top that was purchased less than four months ago. I wasn't asking for a free adapter, even though their computer came with a 1 year warranty and was purchased in December, all I wanted to do was get an adapter and pay money for it. If Gateway doesn't want to take my money -- Fine. I hate them. They are even douchier than my Emilie.

It's a God Awful Small Affair

2009-04-05T21:11:00.003-04:00

So my sister Emilie (the Douchebag) has been living with me for about a week. Things are going well, it's like she's my wife in the 50s. I go to work, and she cooks and cleans. Everything seemed to be going great. Until this weekend. I ordered the Life on Mars (UK) DVDs and we've been watching them all -- I fell asleep at around 1am last night, and she watched the SERIES finale without me! I know! What a douchebag!! I've already seen the ending but I wanted to be there when she saw it, because its so awesome. Am I over reacting? Most likely, but damn it she's my pseudo 50s wife and if she does it again she'll get a taste of the back of my hand.

Also look how sad Emilie made Sam Tyler.

Happy 3.14!

2009-03-14T16:50:00.003-04:00

Happy Pi Day Everyone!
Celebrate any way you want! It's an excuse to be irrational! (see what I did again?)

A Little More Topical Hilarity

2009-03-11T15:23:00.002-04:00

Jon Hamm as Lex Luthor? How can this not be made of win!? Even in a bald cap the man is still dead sexy!

"Lex Luthor Bailout" with Jon Hamm - watch more funny videos

Dream Car!

2009-03-10T19:33:00.002-04:00

I got my rental car today for the Birthday Parking Lot Massacre. For those of you who don't know, whilst I was at work and my sister was shopping (she took my car) somebody hit my car in the parking lot of Value Village. The guy apparantly got out, looked at the damage (pretty severe, though superficial) and got back in his car and drove away. Luckily someone saw it and got the license plate down! Hooray! I finally got the car in the shop today (it took a while to get everything approved because it was a hit and run) and there is over $2000 worth of damage. Sheesh! Anyways I got my new rental which I am totally in love with and don't want to give back ever! It's a 2009 Kia Rio LX Hatchback -- and its ORANGE! I'm in love!
Oh yeah -- and the hit and run happened on my birthday. Bummer.

Rite of Spring

2009-03-07T00:52:00.002-05:00

Today it felt like Spring. It started off warm but rainy -- which made it too hot for me to sleep and to dark for me to get up. This resulted in me lying in bed too long and being late for work. All was forgiven however when the sun came out around 1pm just as I was finishing up at my last clients! I drove around Hamilton for a large chunk of the afternoon with the windows down and it was awesome! I decided to give some sort of purpose to my drive, instead of aimlessly going across the city just because it was warm enough to keep the windows down, so I did something I'd always wanted to do. I checked out the Devil's Punchbowl in Stoney Creek. It was so cool! For anyone who I haven't told about this yet the Devil's Punchbowl is a natural rock formation caused by glacial activity some 450 million years ago. That's amazing enough right there! But the "bowl" itself is a 2.2 km (circumference) circular gorge with a 40m ribbon waterfall flowing into it. The view from the top also provides a view of Hamilton Bay and Stoney Creek, and on a clear day you can even see Burlington (or so I'm told). There is also a large iron cross that some normal guy erected on his on volition. I find that kind of creepy. Anyway if you're in the Hamilton area check it out!

Two Peas in a Pod(cast)

2009-03-06T15:00:00.003-05:00

Allright, so here is my first ever podcast. I made it with Erin in mind. I think its kind of lame but she'll like it. She likes pretty much everything I do, sometimes I think we share the same brain.

Also Melinda dared me to do a podcast so -- in your face Melinda!

Time to Read!

2009-02-26T15:09:00.004-05:00

This is a post especially for Melinda!
She posted on her blog that she wants to read a book a month, and then asked for some suggestions. Well Melinda here you go!

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Neffinegger
I know you said that you weren't really into sci-fi/fantasy, but this is a really good character study as well as a great story that just happens to fall into the sci-fi genre. The book features the complicated love story between Henry De Tamble, a Chicago Librarian who suffers from "Chrono Displacement" disorder; he randomly dissapears without warning and ends up in the past or future. This makes for an incredibly complicated life, and lots of paradoxes come up. For example he meets his wife for the first time when he is 28, and she is 20, however at this point she has known him all her life, as he has been visiting her in his future/her past. It's a very interesting concept, a compelling story, and thoroughly enjoyable read.

MAUS by Art Speigleman
This is probably the best book I've read all year. It's a graphic novel about the holocaust. It's the true story of Art Speigelman's grandfather's experiences in Europe during the second world war. Including time spent in the ghetto, hiding in walls, and at various concentration camps. Some of the images and lines of this book have stuck with me long after I read it. It's a graphic novel, so it sa quick read (there are two parts, just over 100 pages I think). Oh, did I mention that the Jews are portrayed as mice and the Germans as cats? It's weird, but really effective.

A Splinter in the Heart by Al Purdy
Al Purdy’s only novel, A Splinter in the Heart, is an unforgettable coming-of-age story that unfolds against the real-life tragedy of what came to be known as the Trenton Disaster. Set in 1918, it tells the story of sixteen-year-old Patrick Cameron and the events that will change him – and the Ontario town in which he lives – forever. Over the course of one summer and fall, Patrick finds love with a girl whose betrayal he cannot foresee, confronts the death of his beloved grandfather, and comes to terms with a neighbourhood rival. All the while, his hometown of Trenton lives precariously in the shadow of a dynamite factory, a sinister reminder of the Great War, which brought such prosperity to the town. Vivid with character and event, and evocative of time and place, A Splinter in the Heart is a moving portrait of a young man’s journey into adulthood in an era of change.

Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - by Douglas Adams
Ok, this is sci-fi too. But it's also a classic. Best book ever, if you haven't read it already (which I'd be shocked if you hadn't) then you must! All the books in the trilogy (there are 5, well 5 and a half) are good, but the first two (this and The Restaurant at the End of the Universe) are the best. Seriously read this book! Also if you've seen to movie and didn't like it. That's ok because thee was so much crammed in that movie it would be near possible to follow without reading the book first. If you've seen the BBC mini series and didn't like it, then you're stupid, or you just don't appreciate the early British Sci-Fi charm (ie dodgy costumes, accents, wobbly setpieces and all round low production values).

Square Root Day!

2009-02-25T19:26:00.004-05:00

I'm posting this early so that you all have time to get your ducks in a row in order to celebrate.

March 3, 2009 (this coming Tuesday) is Square Root Day!

Why is square root day so important? Because there are only 9 a century! Square Root day is celebrated on any day when both the month number, and the day number are the square root of the last two digits of the year. For example

01/01/01 - January 1st, 2001
02/02/04 - February 2nd, 2004
03/03/09 - March 3rd, 2009
04/04/16 - April 4th 2016
05/05/25 - May 5th, 2025
06/06/36 - June 6th 2036
07/07/49 - July 7th 2049
08/08/64 - August 8th, 2064
09/09/81 - September 9th, 2081

So you see? There aren't that many! How are you going to celebrate square root day? I've heard that people buy root vegetables (potatoes, carrots, radishes etc. etc. ) cut them into squares and eat them. That's all well and good, but seeing as we live in a three dimensional world -- doesn't that make them cubes? Not squares? If that's the case we'll have to wait until March 3rd 2027 for the next Cube Root Day!

In any case -- I hope your Square Root Day is "radical!" (See what I did there?)

Playlist Volume 1: For Erin to Work Out By

2009-02-19T20:02:00.003-05:00

1. Clint Eastwood by Gorrilaz - kind of mellow but with a distinct enough beat that you can still count reps to it. Also not so mellow that you're gonna fall asleep. Also funky as hell.

2. L Wells by Franz Ferdinand - a bit of a quicker tempo, gets you moving a bit. Doesn't go all funky with the meter like other FF songs do. This song is also the only song I've found to date with the name Lindsay in it, so it rocks.

3. Devil's Answer by Atomic Rooster - The tempo of this song is just about perfect for me to do repetitive things by (I really shouldn't end sentences with prepositions at). The tempo also picks up as the song progresses

4. Stronger by Kanye West - Now if this was a workout mix for ME it would be the original Daft Punk version, however the original is such a good song that anything that samples it is also rockin.

5. I Was Born (A Unicorn) by The Unicorns - Another uptempo fun song. The hemiolas may throw you off if you're counting reps -- but this way your excercising your brain too.

6. Detox by King of Pants - Mashups are great for doing anything that requires energy. This song combines the awesome beats and funk of Toxic with the soulfull wailing of Rehab. Ahhh Amy Winehouse and Brittney Spears -- together at last!

7. Hot Patootie (Bless My Soul) by Meatloaf - Yes, thats right Meatloaf. The most rockinest song from the Rocky Horror Picture Show -- it just makes you want to get up and dance! Hot Patootie!

8. Don't Stop Me Now by Queen - Fun and upbeat. The lyrics just make you feel energized "I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars!... like an atom bomb I'm gonna oh, oh, oh explode!!

9. E-Pro by Beck - While this may not be Beck's best song. It is by far his most rockin, I think at least. Another one you just want to dance to.

10. Single Ladies by Beyonce -- I DARE you do listen to this song and not do the locomotion!

11. Holland 1945 by Neutral Milk Hotel - Great GREAT song, also really upbeat and funky. Great to move to, unfortuneatly its about the Holocaust -- so don't listen to the lyrics.

12. Conquest by the White Stripes - This song is great for getting psyched.

13. Look Good in Leather - Cody Chestnut and the Rolling Stones - Another great song for getting psyched, and another impossible not to dance song.

14. Voo Doo Child by Rogue Traders -- This dance hit is actually pretty rockin. Sure its poppy as can be, and not all that complex, but who needs that.

15. Dr. Who by Bullamakanka -- I know I know, a Doctor Who song? Really!? Trust me this song is really funky and fun, and great to move to. Ignore the lyrics if you must.

16. Mexican Radio by Devo - Man I love Devo. This song is a little more languid, can be a little more relaxed when moving to this one.

17. Kids by MGMT - this one is still nice and steady, but a little slower. It's still really easy to dance to.

18. There Ain't Half Been Some Clever Bastards by Ian Drury and the Blockheads - Time to start winding down. This song is still fun and bouncy but a little slower for winding down the workout.

18. I'll Believe in Anything by Wolf Parade - This is just a GREAT song. A good way to wrap things up. I always feel good after listening to a song this great.

19. Burn the Witch by Queens of the Stone Age - this song forces you to slow down a bit. A good way to relax after a work out, it still rocks though.

20. Decision/Indecions by Atomic Rooster - I know its the second song by AR but its really nice and mellow and good for calming down.

TV Crossover Madness!

2009-02-16T18:48:00.005-05:00

February is sweeps month. Last week we had a riveting Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice Crossover -- *yawn. I'm sure I could come up with some better ones. All right, maybe some of mine would involve some serious travelling, to the UK for instance -- or back in time, but TV budgets are pretty big today, we'll just throw some product placements in there and we're off!

On an exciting new Episode of Mad Men, we are treated to a flash back of Don Draper/Dick Whitman fighting in the Korean War. We see Don/Dick in the hospital after the explosion that killed the real Don. Dick/Don is lying in his bed, and as the army officials are making their way around handing out medals and discharges Dick/Don starts writhing in pain. Apparently there was some shrapnel left in Dick/Don's chest and he needs surgery right away. The army calls in the best chest surgeons in all of Korea -- MASH's Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John (and of course Frank Burns would insist he came along) Hawk and Trap save the day (natch) and they all celebrate by retiring to swamp and consuming a swimming pool's worth of gin, and just for fun they fill Frank's boots with pudding.

On a much publicised mulitnetwork crossover. The doctors at Sacred Heart Hospital (Scrubs) have a case that not even Dr. Cox can solve. They transfer the patient to Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in NJ so the famous diagnostician Dr. House can take a look at him. At first House couldn't care less, until he finds out that the patient a Mr. John Smith isn't just a nut, but a brilliant doctor himself. We see John Smith's X-rays and he's got two hearts! As you may have guessed this patient isn't really John Smith, but none other than Doctor Who! Ends up he's here to rescue NJ from an evil, over dramatic/whiny/boring alien we know as Dr. Remy Hadley AKA 13. The Doctor does a lot of running and sonic screwdrivering and eventually traps the unwatchable Dr. 13 in some sort of simulated reality where everyone's life is more dramatic than hers and we don't have to listen to her anymore. The Doctor impressed my House's brilliance and cynicism offers to take him on as a companion and travel through time and space. House scoffs at this, and mocks the Doctor using a cheesy British accent. The Doctor leaves, alone again, and House confides in Wilson that he would have liked to have gone off in the TARDIS, but is afraid that he wouldn't be able to do all the running that is required.

Groceries For Dummies: Lesson 1 The Check-Out

2009-01-26T16:23:00.003-05:00

Working as a cashier on and off for the last 10 years has shown me that the common consumer has no idea how to shop. Sure they may know how to bargain hunt, or clip coupons, or they might know where things are in their usual store. What most people don't know is that with a bit of patience and understanding they can make their grocery shopping a quick and painless activity. First in a series of lessons I give you Lesson 1: The Check-Out.

Ledge: This is the part of the checkout that is closest to the store. It is made of metal. It's sole purpose is to in case the conveyor unit, or "belt". The ledge has no moving parts and therefore items placed on the ledge will not advance with the belt.

Belt: This is the black rubberized conveyor belt on which you place your groceries. The belt is designed to move towards the cashier so that they don't have to reach for your groceries. The specifics of how the belt moves will be discussed below. People will put anything on the belt, including leaking bloody meat, used Kleenex, and money; thus the belt is very dirty. Placing any food you don't intend on washing (like unwrapped baked goods) or your children on the belt isn't a very good idea.

Dividers: Most cashes come equipped with two dividers. Sometimes they have the store logo or motto on them, and sometimes they are just plain black plastic bars. The sole purpose of these dividers is to DIVIDE one person's groceries from the next. When you have finished placing your items on the belt, it is a good idea to place the divider at the end of your order. That not only ensures that the next person's order won't be mixed with yours but also signals the next person that you are finished and they can begin placing their items on the belt. That being said if there is a divider on the belt it is not necessary to leave a space before you start loading your groceries. Cashiers universally understand the purpose of the divider, and will not start ringing in groceries after the divider reaches the front of the belt. Leaving a large space on the belt, or waiting for the cashier to complete the previous order is unnecessary, and greatly slows the process for you, the cashier, and anyone behind you in line.

Metal Funnel: This is a triangular piece of metal that sits at the front of the belt on the side closest to the customer. This funnel is designed to push groceries away from the side of the belt and prevent them from getting lost behind the scanning unit. If something gets stuck underneath the funnel it can easily be flipped up. It is a good idea when loading your groceries on the belt to leave a little room on that side to prevent groceries from being squished by the funnel.
Infrared Light Sensor: This is an invisible laser like light that runs across the surface of the belt closest to the cashier. On one side of the belt the light is produced, and on the other side the light is received. If this light is blocked and cannot be received, then the belt will no longer advance. If the light is uninterrupted the belt will pull forward until something blocks the light once more. It is common practice for a cashier to place a divider vertically in front of the sensor to prevent the belt from advancing continuously. Note that the advancement of the belt is completely dependant on the light sensor and that the cashier cannot control the stopping and starting of the belt, nor the speed in which the belt moves.

Keyboard: This is used by the cashier to key in quantities of produce items, to manually key in scan codes, to indicate the amount and type of payment, and most often to input produce codes. Pushing buttons haphazardly will most likely result in an error on your bill. So no, it is not OK for your child to play with it.

Scale Controls: Located right next to the scale/scanner most of these units have 2 buttons. One resets the scale to zero, and the other increases the volume of the scanner.

Scale Scanner: Directly in front of the cashier is the scanner/scale. It is a delicate scale, capable to measuring as little as five grams (0.17 oz). The scanner is underneath the scale and works with an infrared light similar to that on the belt. The scanner reads the bar code on the item, which the computer (hidden below,or inside the belt) recognises and produces the price that is on file for that bar code. The cashier has no control over this process either. The prices are usually determined by central office, and are usually the same province wide.

Debit/Credit machine: Most people are familiar with this, if there is one clearly visible, then it is up to the customer to swipe his or her debit card, or tap their pay pass. IF you are not paying with a MasterCard that has Pay Pass, you must give your card to the cashier for them to swipe. The cashier will ensure the number is correct and once the charge has been approved, and signed for, they will return the card. It is acceptable for children to push the buttons on this machine as long as they are gentle, as this machine is only activated once the cashier pushes the "debit" or "credit" button.

Pricing Gun: Not all stores have these but most wholesale stores do. Inside the "gun" is a miniature, hand-held scanner. This is used when their are heavy items in the cart, or objects that are too heavy or awkward to manoeuvre over the scanner. That being said, if you choose to leave items in your cart, make sure the bar code is facing up so that the cashier can see it, and scan it.

Best of '08

2009-01-10T22:12:00.009-05:00

Below are some of my favourite things from 2008.

Oracular Spectacular - MGMT
With three great singles (Time to Pretend, Electric Feel, and Kids) this album is solid. The songs are complex but incredibly catchy and singable.

Doctor Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog
Low Budget web only TV show made by Joss Whedon et al. Now available on DVD from Amazon, and on iTunes.

Man on Wire
A great documentary about tight rope walker Philippe Petit's daring and illegal high wire walk between the World Trade Center's twin towers in 1974. Dude -- he got the rope up there by shooting an arrow! How bad ass is that?

Wall-E
Cutest movie ever made! Seriously you'll die of cuteness. You'll also be singing the soundtrack of Hello Dolly! for 6 weeks afterwards.

Anthony Stewart Head
He kicked ass and took names as a legal assassin in the comic book style rock opera Repo! Plus he kicked ass and took names (in chainmail!) as the legendary Uther Pendragon (Arthur's dad) in BBC's Merlin.

Mad Men's season 2 Finale

Seriously how awesome was it when Peggy totally stuck it to Pete? This whole season was great but the payoff in the finale was a long time coming!

President's Choice Belgian Chocolate Ganache Biscuits
4 flavours, individually wrapped: Coconut & White Chocolate, Cappuccino & Milk Chocolate, Hazelnut Praline & Milk Chocolate, Orange & Dark Chocolate. Best cookies ever -- these are one of PC's new products that came out at Christmas. You can find them reduced now for $4.94 at your local Loblaws affiliate.

What not to say to the cashier

2009-01-08T21:36:00.003-05:00

Everybody needs to eat, I get it. But not everyone has to make the same lame jokes to the cashier. I mean come on! I hear the following at least 12 times a shift and they were never funny.

1. "I only came in for one thing" -- as they load a cart full of groceries onto the belt.

2. "I just made it" -- as I examine their $50 bill to see if its counterfeit.

3. "Working hard or hardly working" -- shut up.

4. "It must be free" -- if something doesn't scan.

5. "Make sure you put the bread in its own bag" -- Really? Not under the cans? Bagging is so hard.

OH and 6. Telling me that the code I put in for produce isn't the real price. Example 4011 -- for bananas -- I know they don't cost $40.11 -- come on!

I'm sure there's more but I need to go to bed so I can get up and listen to these things again in the morning.

New Year, New Doctor

2009-01-03T14:43:00.002-05:00

Matt Smith is the 11th Doctor
Not sure how I feel about this.

What's in my purse? Volume 3

2008-12-31T20:30:00.003-05:00

Wallet
iPod
iTrip
Cell Phone
Phone Charger
Hands free headset
Deodorant
Tampons (2)
Pen
Headphones
Compact
Gravol Blister Pack
Vic's Inhaler
Chaptstick
Tums Smoothies Antacid Tablets
Purple Playdough from a Cranium Game
12 Cans of Diet Coke

This was on Dec 27th (after a Poprun)

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T00:27:00.002-05:00

The day is finally here! After the month from Hell I can't wait to go home and relax. Even if it is only for 4 days. I hope all (both) of my readers have a happy and safe holiday! And if anyone tells me what happens in "The Next Doctor" I'll kill them!

12 Days Of Christmas Day 12

2008-12-24T00:45:00.001-05:00

Hooray!! It's the best commercial Xmas song -- possibly with the exception of David Bowie and Bing Crosby.

Also -- new Bob & Doug cartoon! Squeee!

12 Days of Christmas Day 11

2008-12-22T13:59:00.002-05:00

A Child's Christmas in Wales

by Dylan Thomas (1914-1953)

One Christmas was so much like another, in those years around the sea-town corner now and out of all sound except the distant speaking of the voices I sometimes hear a moment before sleep, that I can never remember whether it snowed for six days and six nights when I was twelve or whether it snowed for twelve days and twelve nights when I was six.

All the Christmases roll down toward the two-tongued sea, like a cold and headlong moon bundling down the sky that was our street; and they stop at the rim of the ice-edged fish-freezing waves, and I plunge my hands in the snow and bring out whatever I can find. In goes my hand into that wool-white bell-tongued ball of holidays resting at the rim of the carol-singing sea, and out come Mrs. Prothero and the firemen.

It was on the afternoon of the Christmas Eve, and I was in Mrs. Prothero's garden, waiting for cats, with her son Jim. It was snowing. It was always snowing at Christmas. December, in my memory, is white as Lapland, though there were no reindeers. But there were cats. Patient, cold and callous, our hands wrapped in socks, we waited to snowball the cats. Sleek and long as jaguars and horrible-whiskered, spitting and snarling, they would slink and sidle over the white back-garden walls, and the lynx-eyed hunters, Jim and I, fur-capped and moccasined trappers from Hudson Bay, off Mumbles Road, would hurl our deadly snowballs at the green of their eyes. The wise cats never appeared.

We were so still, Eskimo-footed arctic marksmen in the muffling silence of the eternal snows - eternal, ever since Wednesday - that we never heard Mrs. Prothero's first cry from her igloo at the bottom of the garden. Or, if we heard it at all, it was, to us, like the far-off challenge of our enemy and prey, the neighbor's polar cat. But soon the voice grew louder.

"Fire!" cried Mrs. Prothero, and she beat the dinner-gong.

And we ran down the garden, with the snowballs in our arms, toward the house; and smoke, indeed, was pouring out of the dining-room, and the gong was bombilating, and Mrs. Prothero was announcing ruin like a town crier in Pompeii. This was better than all the cats in Wales standing on the wall in a row. We bounded into the house, laden with snowballs, and stopped at the open door of the smoke-filled room.

Something was burning all right; perhaps it was Mr. Prothero, who always slept there after midday dinner with a newspaper over his face. But he was standing in the middle of the room, saying, "A fine Christmas!" and smacking at the smoke with a slipper.

"Call the fire brigade," cried Mrs. Prothero as she beat the gong. "There won't be there," said Mr. Prothero, "it's Christmas." There was no fire to be seen, only clouds of smoke and Mr. Prothero standing in the middle of them, waving his slipper as though he were conducting.

"Do something," he said. And we threw all our snowballs into the smoke - I think we missed Mr. Prothero - and ran out of the house to the telephone box.

"Let's call the police as well," Jim said. "And the ambulance." "And Ernie Jenkins, he likes fires."

But we only called the fire brigade, and soon the fire engine came and three tall men in helmets brought a hose into the house and Mr. Prothero got out just in time before they turned it on. Nobody could have had a noisier Christmas Eve. And when the firemen turned off the hose and were standing in the wet, smoky room, Jim's Aunt, Miss. Prothero, came downstairs and peered in at them. Jim and I waited, very quietly, to hear what she would say to them. She said the right thing, always. She looked at the three tall firemen in their shining helmets, standing among the smoke and cinders and dissolving snowballs, and she said, "Would you like anything to read?"

Years and years ago, when I was a boy, when there were wolves in Wales, and birds the color of red-flannel petticoats whisked past the harp-shaped hills, when we sang and wallowed all night and day in caves that smelt like Sunday afternoons in damp front farmhouse parlors, and we chased, with the jawbones of deacons, the English and the bears, before the motor car, before the wheel, before the duchess-faced horse, when we rode the daft and happy hills bareback, it snowed and it snowed. But here a small boy says: "It snowed last year, too. I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea."

"But that was not the same snow," I say. "Our snow was not only shaken from white wash buckets down the sky, it came shawling out of the ground and swam and drifted out of the arms and hands and bodies of the trees; snow grew overnight on the roofs of the houses like a pure and grandfather moss, minutely ivied the walls and settled on the postman, opening the gate, like a dumb, numb thunder-storm of white, torn Christmas cards."

"Were there postmen then, too?"

"With sprinkling eyes and wind-cherried noses, on spread, frozen feet they crunched up to the doors and mittened on them manfully. But all that the children could hear was a ringing of bells."

"You mean that the postman went rat-a-tat-tat and the doors rang?"

"I mean that the bells the children could hear were inside them."

"I only hear thunder sometimes, never bells."

"There were church bells, too."

"Inside them?"

"No, no, no, in the bat-black, snow-white belfries, tugged by bishops and storks. And they rang their tidings over the bandaged town, over the frozen foam of the powder and ice-cream hills, over the crackling sea. It seemed that all the churches boomed for joy under my window; and the weathercocks crew for Christmas, on our fence."

"Get back to the postmen."

"They were just ordinary postmen, found of walking and dogs and Christmas and the snow. They knocked on the doors with blue knuckles. . . ."

"Ours has got a black knocker. . . ."

"And then they stood on the white Welcome mat in the little, drifted porches and huffed and puffed, making ghosts with their breath, and jogged from foot to foot like small boys wanting to go out."

"And then the presents?"

"And then the Presents, after the Christmas box. And the cold postman, with a rose on his button-nose, tingled down the tea-tray-slithered run of the chilly glinting hill. He went in his ice-bound boots like a man on fishmonger's slabs.

"He wagged his bag like a frozen camel's hump, dizzily turned the corner on one foot, and, by God, he was gone."

"Get back to the Presents."

"There were the Useful Presents: engulfing mufflers of the old coach days, and mittens made for giant sloths; zebra scarfs of a substance like silky gum that could be tug-o'-warred down to the galoshes; blinding tam-o'-shanters like patchwork tea cozies and bunny-suited busbies and balaclavas for victims of head-shrinking tribes; from aunts who always wore wool next to the skin there were mustached and rasping vests that made you wonder why the aunts had any skin left at all; and once I had a little crocheted nose bag from an aunt now, alas, no longer whinnying with us. And pictureless books in which small boys, though warned with quotations not to, would skate on Farmer Giles' pond and did and drowned; and books that told me everything about the wasp, except why."

"Go on the Useless Presents."

"Bags of moist and many-colored jelly babies and a folded flag and a false nose and a tram-conductor's cap and a machine that punched tickets and rang a bell; never a catapult; once, by mistake that no one could explain, a little hatchet; and a celluloid duck that made, when you pressed it, a most unducklike sound, a mewing moo that an ambitious cat might make who wished to be a cow; and a painting book in which I could make the grass, the trees, the sea and the animals any colour I pleased, and still the dazzling sky-blue sheep are grazing in the red field under the rainbow-billed and pea-green birds. Hardboileds, toffee, fudge and allsorts, crunches, cracknels, humbugs, glaciers, marzipan, and butterwelsh for the Welsh. And troops of bright tin soldiers who, if they could not fight, could always run. And Snakes-and-Families and Happy Ladders. And Easy Hobbi-Games for Little Engineers, complete with instructions. Oh, easy for Leonardo! And a whistle to make the dogs bark to wake up the old man next door to make him beat on the wall with his stick to shake our picture off the wall. And a packet of cigarettes: you put one in your mouth and you stood at the corner of the street and you waited for hours, in vain, for an old lady to scold you for smoking a cigarette, and then with a smirk you ate it. And then it was breakfast under the balloons."

"Were there Uncles like in our house?"

"There are always Uncles at Christmas. The same Uncles. And on Christmas morning, with dog-disturbing whistle and sugar fags, I would scour the swatched town for the news of the little world, and find always a dead bird by the Post Office or by the white deserted swings; perhaps a robin, all but one of his fires out. Men and women wading or scooping back from chapel, with taproom noses and wind-bussed cheeks, all albinos, huddles their stiff black jarring feathers against the irreligious snow. Mistletoe hung from the gas brackets in all the front parlors; there was sherry and walnuts and bottled beer and crackers by the dessertspoons; and cats in their fur-abouts watched the fires; and the high-heaped fire spat, all ready for the chestnuts and the mulling pokers. Some few large men sat in the front parlors, without their collars, Uncles almost certainly, trying their new cigars, holding them out judiciously at arms' length, returning them to their mouths, coughing, then holding them out again as though waiting for the explosion; and some few small aunts, not wanted in the kitchen, nor anywhere else for that matter, sat on the very edge of their chairs, poised and brittle, afraid to break, like faded cups and saucers."

Not many those mornings trod the piling streets: an old man always, fawn-bowlered, yellow-gloved and, at this time of year, with spats of snow, would take his constitutional to the white bowling green and back, as he would take it wet or fire on Christmas Day or Doomsday; sometimes two hale young men, with big pipes blazing, no overcoats and wind blown scarfs, would trudge, unspeaking, down to the forlorn sea, to work up an appetite, to blow away the fumes, who knows, to walk into the waves until nothing of them was left but the two furling smoke clouds of their inextinguishable briars. Then I would be slap-dashing home, the gravy smell of the dinners of others, the bird smell, the brandy, the pudding and mince, coiling up to my nostrils, when out of a snow-clogged side lane would come a boy the spit of myself, with a pink-tipped cigarette and the violet past of a black eye, cocky as a bullfinch, leering all to himself.

I hated him on sight and sound, and would be about to put my dog whistle to my lips and blow him off the face of Christmas when suddenly he, with a violet wink, put his whistle to his lips and blew so stridently, so high, so exquisitely loud, that gobbling faces, their cheeks bulged with goose, would press against their tinsled windows, the whole length of the white echoing street. For dinner we had turkey and blazing pudding, and after dinner the Uncles sat in front of the fire, loosened all buttons, put their large moist hands over their watch chains, groaned a little and slept. Mothers, aunts and sisters scuttled to and fro, bearing tureens. Auntie Bessie, who had already been frightened, twice, by a clock-work mouse, whimpered at the sideboard and had some elderberry wine. The dog was sick. Auntie Dosie had to have three aspirins, but Auntie Hannah, who liked port, stood in the middle of the snowbound back yard, singing like a big-bosomed thrush. I would blow up balloons to see how big they would blow up to; and, when they burst, which they all did, the Uncles jumped and rumbled. In the rich and heavy afternoon, the Uncles breathing like dolphins and the snow descending, I would sit among festoons and Chinese lanterns and nibble dates and try to make a model man-o'-war, following the Instructions for Little Engineers, and produce what might be mistaken for a sea-going tramcar.

Or I would go out, my bright new boots squeaking, into the white world, on to the seaward hill, to call on Jim and Dan and Jack and to pad through the still streets, leaving huge footprints on the hidden pavements.

"I bet people will think there's been hippos."

"What would you do if you saw a hippo coming down our street?"

"I'd go like this, bang! I'd throw him over the railings and roll him down the hill and then I'd tickle him under the ear and he'd wag his tail."

"What would you do if you saw two hippos?"

Iron-flanked and bellowing he-hippos clanked and battered through the scudding snow toward us as we passed Mr. Daniel's house.

"Let's post Mr. Daniel a snow-ball through his letter box."

"Let's write things in the snow."

"Let's write, 'Mr. Daniel looks like a spaniel' all over his lawn."

Or we walked on the white shore. "Can the fishes see it's snowing?"

The silent one-clouded heavens drifted on to the sea. Now we were snow-blind travelers lost on the north hills, and vast dewlapped dogs, with flasks round their necks, ambled and shambled up to us, baying "Excelsior."

We returned home through the poor streets where only a few children fumbled with bare red fingers in the wheel-rutted snow and cat-called after us, their voices fading away, as we trudged uphill, into the cries of the dock birds and the hooting of ships out in the whirling bay. And then, at tea the recovered Uncles would be jolly; and the ice cake loomed in the center of the table like a marble grave. Auntie Hannah laced her tea with rum, because it was only once a year.

Bring out the tall tales now that we told by the fire as the gaslight bubbled like a diver. Ghosts whooed like owls in the long nights when I dared not look over my shoulder; animals lurked in the cubbyhole under the stairs and the gas meter ticked. And I remember that we went singing carols once, when there wasn't the shaving of a moon to light the flying streets.

At the end of a long road was a drive that led to a large house, and we stumbled up the darkness of the drive that night, each one of us afraid, each one holding a stone in his hand in case, and all of us too brave to say a word. The wind through the trees made noises as of old and unpleasant and maybe webfooted men wheezing in caves. We reached the black bulk of the house. "What shall we give them? Hark the Herald?"

"No," Jack said, "Good King Wencelas. I'll count three." One, two three, and we began to sing, our voices high and seemingly distant in the snow-felted darkness round the house that was occupied by nobody we knew.

We stood close together, near the dark door. Good King Wencelas looked out On the Feast of Stephen . . . And then a small, dry voice, like the voice of someone who has not spoken for a long time, joined our singing: a small, dry, eggshell voice from the other side of the door: a small dry voice through the keyhole. And when we stopped running we were outside our house; the front room was lovely; balloons floated under the hot-water-bottle-gulping gas; everything was good again and shone over the town.

"Perhaps it was a ghost," Jim said. "Perhaps it was trolls," Dan said, who was always reading.

"Let's go in and see if there's any jelly left," Jack said. And we did that.

Always on Christmas night there was music. An uncle played the fiddle, a cousin sang "Cherry Ripe," and another uncle sang "Drake's Drum." It was very warm in the little house. Auntie Hannah, who had got on to the parsnip wine, sang a song about Bleeding Hearts and Death, and then another in which she said her heart was like a Bird's Nest; and then everybody laughed again; and then I went to bed. Looking through my bedroom window, out into the moonlight and the unending smoke-colored snow, I could see the lights in the windows of all the other houses on our hill and hear the music rising from them up the long, steady falling night. I turned the gas down, I got into bed. I said some words to the close and holy darkness, and then I slept.

12 Days of Christmas Day 10

2008-12-22T13:57:00.001-05:00

This is a day late -- sorry I was at my parents -- and they're computer is from the bronze age.

Who is this guy anyway?

12 Days Of Christmas Day 9

2008-12-20T00:14:00.002-05:00

One of the first blogs I ever subscribed to is "the Sneeze" it's run by this really funny guy named Steve. A few Christmas' ago Steve gave his son a box of raisins for Christmas. One of those little tiny boxes of raisins. The results were adorable and hilarious. Thus a tradition was born. You can imagine as a child gets older that the appeal of a box of raisins might be lost -- you'd be right.

Check out the last two years raisin experiments here.

http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000749.php

12 Days of Christmas Day 8

2008-12-19T16:30:00.002-05:00

12 Days Of Christmas Day 7

2008-12-17T19:58:00.005-05:00

Lindsay's Recipe for Tortiere

Crust
2.5 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup shortening (chilled)
6 or 7 tablespoons of water

Mix dry ingredients -- cut in shortening. Mix with a fork, adding water a little at a time until you get pea sized pieces of dough. Don't mix with your hands because this will add more oil to the crust and make it hard as a rock.

Divide crust into 2 balls and put in the fridge while you make the filling. If you're making the filling later later then wrap the crust in tin foil, or at least cover it so it doesn't dry out.

Delicious Delicious Meat filling
1.5 lbs of pork/veal/beef (any combo you choose -- I usually do a mix of all 3)
1 med. onion, finely chopped
1 garlic clove finely chopped
1 medium sized potato diced or grated
(also can add peas and carrots -- if you want to ruin your pie)
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. dried thyme leaves
1/4 tsp. ground sage
1/4 tsp. ground pepper

Directions? Fry it all. You'll soon see that you don't need to add any oil because pork is greasy greasy! Make sure you pour off access fat. I ended up with 2 cups of rendered pork fat. YUM!

When you're ready to roll out the dough. Take it out of the fridge and place the ball between two sheets of waxed paper. Roll it out and put it flat in the fridge or freezer. Do the same with the other ball o' dough. If the flat waxed paper/dough sandwich is sufficiently cooled you can now peel the waxed paper right off. Line the pie plate with dough -- pour in delicious meat, cover with other sheet of dough. If you're cooking the pie right away, cut some slits in it. If you're putting it back in the freezer, don't cut any slits in it and cover it with tin foil. When its time to cook it take it out, cut slits, and cook. The inside of the pie is already fully cooked so it doesn't take long to bake it. Just until the inside is hot, and the outside is golden. If the outside is golden the inside will be hot -- don't put your hand in the pie to test it. You'll burn yourself.

12 Days Of Christmas Day 6

2008-12-17T19:56:00.005-05:00

Simon & Garfunkle - 7 O'Clock News/Silent Night

Not the best video of this on youtube, but the best that has an embed code. It's not the pictures that make this song great however.

NOTE TO ALL: I've been doing these posts in advance, and then saving them to post later -- because i've been insanely busy. However the posts still show the day I made them, not the day I posted them. Trust title -- not the actual date. I don't want people to think I'm cheating!

12 Days Of Christmas Day 5

2008-12-17T18:25:00.003-05:00

Courtesy of Rich -- the 10 Doctors Online comic.
http://comics.shipsinker.com/feed/

12 Days of Christmas Day 4

2008-12-16T12:33:00.000-05:00

From last night's episode of HIMYM (that's pronounced him-yim).

12 Days of Christmas Day 3

2008-12-15T15:41:00.002-05:00

This totally killed me. I love it when "Serious" people act silly. And proof that Geddy Lee does talk like an ordinary guy.

12 Days Of Christmas Day 2

2008-12-14T04:00:00.003-05:00

Sterling Cooper Christmas Party -- courtesy of the very talented Dyna Moe who's wonderful pop art (lots of Mad Men stuff too) can be found here http://www.nobodyssweetheart.com/ She's got an awesome Mad Men Calender for sale, as well as totally kick ass Joan Halloway Paper Dolls! I would totally buy them if I had room on my credit card!

12 Days of Christmas Day 1

2008-12-14T03:49:00.002-05:00

I've seen this done on a lot of other blogs -- and I've never been one for originality. There's so much fun Xmas stuff popping up on the web having to do with so much fun stuff I like. I'msagonna put something up everyday from now until the 25th. Although, yes I know its actually the 14th -- not the 13th so I'm gonna do a double post. Yeah, I know cheating, whatever. I promise as well that its not going to be Doctor Who crap all week. Although the BBC Advent(ure) calender does make that easy. Doctor Who content today -- but only because I love hearing David say "Hallo" in his Scottish Accent.

Weird....

2008-12-13T01:37:00.002-05:00

Anyone else find this deeply disturbing?

My cake travels in time...how about yours?

2008-12-10T13:59:00.007-05:00

Allright, this post is for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. This is the epic cake I've been yapping about since October. Made totally from scratch. Here's how

I used a Madeira sponge cake recipe I found online.

3.5 C Self Rising Flour
1.5 C All Purpose Flour
(To make All Purpose Flour into Self Rising flour, just add 1 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder and 1/2 teaspoon of salt for every cup All Purpose flour)
1.5 C Sugar
1.5 C Butter
6 eggs

To help ensure the cake is the shape you want it, line the pan with grease proof paper (I used foil, you can use waxed paper or parchment paper). I used an extra long loaf pan. Bake at 350 for about an hour -- or until a toothpick comes out clean when inserted into the middle.

When the cake is cooled you can mold it into shape using a knife. I used a violin string (E) because I thought it would work the same as piano wire might -- it did!

I also used shish-kebab skewers to hold the cake upright. Madeira cake is pretty sturdy, but once the fondant and decorations are on the cake, it would probably have started to collapse and get all wobbly looking (if you're trying for a classic series TARDIS, forget the skewers for that wobbly set look acheived throughout the original series).

The Icing is actually fondant. It's super easy to make, looks cool and is fun to play with!!

Melt 1 part marshmallow (I used an entire bag -- 1lb I think -- I forget now -- either way, one part)
Add 2 Parts icing sugar
If you are making white fondant add a few teaspoons of water (one at at time) until the mixture is like sticky playdough.
If you're making coloured fonant, don't add water, but instead add food colouring or food dye. Note that standard food colouring will not give you the bright blue colour, I used a food dye paste I found at Bulk Barn.
It's a good idea to coat your stirring apparatus with shortening, as this stuff will stick to EVERYTHING it touches. Also when rolling and shaping fondant, generously coat your hands, work surface and rolling pin with shortening as well. I went through an entire pound.

Ice the cake with normal icing first, this will help the fondant stick.

Fondant doesn't really stretch, so it has to be cut to fit. Measure your cake and cut the exact amount of fondant.

Working with fondant is a bit tricky, I found it helped to have a second person. I used my sister Emilie (the douchebag) but you can use anyone. She's much more artistic than I so her help was much needed/appreciated.

The windows are made from white fondant (The TARDIS windows only have 6 panes, not 9. Emilie totally messed up on that one). The POLICE (public call) BOX signs were printed off the computer, as was the little sign that goes on the front door. Emilie made the handle, and I didn't look to see what she made it out of -- I assume it was part of one of the skewers. We used blue gel icing to add some detail, and plain icing as glue to reinforce the fondant in places. Lastly I put a yellow ju-jube on top for the light, and some star shaped sprinkles at the base for effect. The star sprinkles ended up looking kind of shitty, so I woulnd't reccomend you do it, but its an idea.

The cake was remarkable sturdy, and lasted in the freezer for two weeks. It also lasted a 4 hour drive from Kingston to Hamilton, being taken out of the freezer several times, being moved a lot to show people, and a car accident (see below).

From start to finish making the cake, the fondant, and the icing took about 2 hours (including baking time). Decorating took 2 people 3 hours. But we were being giant dorks. Some time was also spent looking for a picture of the TARDIS -- printing off signs and such, re-printing signs because they turned out the wrong size, and trying to figure out what it said on the door panel. I'm ont sure of the total cost of the cake, as I had a lot of the supplies already, I would say under $20 for sure. But more if you need to buy things like loaf pans, violin strings, and skewers.

Note: Cake is large, but not bigger on the inside. Cake also does not travel in time.

ATTN EMILIE

2008-12-09T20:24:00.002-05:00

HEY DOUCHEBAG!

Did you ever think that maybe things happen in people's lives that you should know about? Like say -- potentially fatal car crashes? That sort of thing? Put your phone back on the hook.

A Little Topical Hilarity

2008-12-06T09:53:00.003-05:00

Good Ol' Funny or Die! Check out this star studded video "Prop 8: Musical"

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

From who I can recognise -- there's Andy Richter, John C Reilly, Allison Janney, Margaret Cho, Maya Rudolph, Sarah Chalke, Rashida Jones and Kathy Najimy -- Plus Jack Black as Jesus and Neil Patrick Harris being awesome yet again (listen to how he says "lavenders" -- comic gold!)

Other favourite parts? Andy Richter's outfit, Maya Rudolph's line (I will laugh at anything she does!) and John C Reilly's delivery of the word "Sodomy"

Thanks Cait!

2008-12-03T23:55:00.005-05:00

Best few seconds of family guy ever -- this cracks me up EVERY time.

Dr. Who?

2008-11-27T23:32:00.004-05:00

Haha psych! You thought this was going to be yet another post about Doctor Who! Wrong!! This is a post about Dr. Seuss -- feel like a dummy yet?

So apparently before he was an accomplished author (but after To Think I Saw it on Mulberry Street)Dr. Seuss (or Theodore Geisel) drew political cartoons for a magazine called PM. There is a book of his art from 1941 - 1943 called Dr. Seuss Goes to War (available on Amazon). The cartoons are instantly recognisable as Seussian -- but the subject is well -- not so Seussian. Here's a few examples. Surreal no?

What's in my purse? Volume 2

2008-11-27T22:03:00.002-05:00

Cell Phone
iPod, headphones, iTrip
Compact
Pomade
Can of Diet Mug Rootbeer
32 loose pens (16 black, 16 blue)
Wallet
3 ticket stubs for Steel City Wheelers raffle
Peanuts Chapstick (Linus' Lemon and Lime)
I <3 Hamilton Lighter
Maus by Art Spiegelman
Hamilton Public Library Newsletter for November

Is there a horrible doctor in the house?!

2008-11-27T13:05:00.003-05:00

Remember when you used to watch Doogie Howser and think to yourself "If only Doogie was less of an smarty pants little kid, more evil, in a musical, a lot funnier"? No? Yeah, me neither -- but watch Doctor Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog -- and you'll wonder why you didn't!

Made by Joss Whedon and his brothers -- this is what happens when writers and actors have some extra time on their hands. This was all written, produced, and filmed during last years WGA strike. All the financing came out of Joss Whedon's pocket (he can afford it anyway) and the actors worked for free -- with the idea that if it made any money they'd get a share of the royalties. You can currently download the show, and the music off of iTunes and Amazon -- and the soundtrack and DVD are being released this holiday season.

This is worth checking out for any fan of musicals, comic books, Neil Patrick Harris, or awesomeness.

Messages from the TV...

2008-11-22T18:53:00.002-05:00

Ever have one of those moments when it appears the TV is speaking directly to you? I never realised I had so much in common with a 40 year old gay man played by Brian Posehn... ok so maybe I realised a little.

Oh Doctor Lazer Rage -- you're so worth $175

Geek Holiday Time pt 2

2008-11-20T19:43:00.003-05:00

OK.. I seriously contemplated about making this one post -- but they're two different days!

Monday Nov 24th is "Talk like a Dalek Day"

All together now -- EXTERMINATE!!!

Geek Holiday Time! Pt 1

2008-11-20T18:19:00.008-05:00

What better way to jazz up another crappy "Novempoopy" but to celebrate geekdom?

This Sunday marks the 45th anniversary of Doctor Who!

On Saturday Nov. 23rd 1963 at 5:15pm Doctor Who was broadcast for the first time on BBC. William Hartnell starred as the Doctor, and it received a 9% share -- which is respectable, even by todays standards. Although, if you think about it -- people only had 2 or 3 channels in the 60s didn't they? Does that mean 91% were watching ITV? (I just looked it up actually -- apparantly 8% of people tuned in to ITV at that time -- I guess the rest were just watching static).

Anyhoo -- to celebrate this landmark the BBC website has put up a few links to some of the Doctor Who Archives. There's some interesting stuff there, including some research BBC did on Sci Fi to see if such a show could do well. The best stuff is some of the original outlines for what the show was to be. Originally the Doctor had an invisible spaceship. That would look kind of like a bubble (not that invisible I guess) -- Sydney Newman noted that it might be better if the Doctor's ship was a familliar object that people would recognise from the street...like a Nightwatchmens booth. The rest is history! Also worth noting is the orignal concept for the "secret of Doctor Who" -- Click the images below to get a closer view.

All images are property of the BBC obviously. Check out the actual site here.

Insert Time pun here

2008-11-18T12:41:00.004-05:00

Time Out New York has announced the winners of the 2nd annual "shadow Emmys" These awards recognise those actors and programs who didn't receive Emmy nominations in real life. I maintain that for the most part the winners here were better than the winners of the real Emmys. And thats not just my Doctor Who love talking -- but my Mad Men love talking too. Also Anne Dudek was great in House last season -- better than Elisabeth Moss? I don't know. I can't believe none of these people got nominated. I can't think of one of them who doesn't deserve an Emmy more than Jeremy Piven!

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
WINNER: David Tennant, Doctor Who
Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights
Bruce Greenwood, John from Cincinnati
Peter Krause, Dirty Sexy Money
Christopher Meloni, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
WINNER Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies
Melora Hardin, The Office
Kaitlin Olson, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Jordana Spiro, My Boys
Yvonne Strahovski, Chuck

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
WINNER: James Roday, Psych
Jeffrey Donovan, Burn Notice
Colin Ferguson, Eureka
Brett Harrison, Reaper
Zachary Levi, Chuck

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
WINNER: Lena Headey, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Leighton Meester, Gossip Girl
Kim Raver, Lipstick Jungle
Sonya Walger, Tell Me You Love Me

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
WINNER: Bruce Campbell, Burn Notice
Adam Baldwin, Chuck
Rick Gonzales, Reaper
Justin Kirk, Weeds
Ray Wise, Reaper

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
WINNER: Vincent Kartheiser, Mad Men
Tate Donovan, Damages
Aaron Douglas, Battlestar Galactica
Michael Hogan, Battlestar Galactica
Tom McCarthy, The Wire

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
WINNER: Judy Reyes, Scrubs
Jenna Fischer, The Office
Angela Kinsey, The Office
Melissa McCarthy, Samantha Who?
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
WINNER: Anne Dudek, House
January Jones, Mad Men
Elizabeth Mitchell, Lost
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Emily Rose, John from Cincinnati

Outstanding Comedy Series
WINNER: Pushing Daisies
Burn Notice
Chuck
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Reaper

Outstanding Drama Series
WINNER: Battlestar Galactica
Friday Night Lights
John from Cincinnati
Tell Me You Love Me
The Wire

Look what I can do!! (for Melinda!)

2008-11-13T18:16:00.005-05:00

Ok so here’s how the game works:
*Link to the person that tagged you
*Post the rules on your blog
*Share six interesting things/habits/quirks about yourself - anything that comes to mind.
*Tag six people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs … people you would like to know things about.
*Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

OK Melinda, I'm not as popular as you -- or my friends aren't as tech savvy as yours. I don't have 6 friends with blogs -- I don't even think I have 2. Yes that's right it's all you man. I can't really pass on the game -- so I'll post 6 random things just for you!!

1. I learned how to write my sisters name (in handwriting) before I learned to write my own. One guess on who taught me.

2. I love classifying myself as a nerd. It's not that I hunt out ways to become more nerdy -- but when I do become interested in something nerdy -- I talk about it a lot, and tell people about it so I can make a comment about how nerdy I am.

3. An example of nerdiness? I've recently begun reading books on 'recreational mathematics' and 'theoretical physics'. Ask me about about the 5th dimension and I'll talk for hours.

4. While in highschool I was a compulsive liar. I lied about everything, and usually for no reason at all.

5. In 'English Writing' class in OAC we had to write an essay for Remembrance Day, the only parameters that we got were that it had to be at least 750 words, and had to have something to do with Remembrance Day. My original essay was about the German's use of Unicorns in WW1. I proposed that they were used as transportation and weapons, and that Kaiser Wilhelm III was a big fan, which is why he wore the helmet with the spike on it. I got kudos for my creativity, but had to write a new essay that wouldn't piss of the veterans so much. (Now scroll down and look at my Nov 11 post)

6. I HATE showering. I still do it, but I don't like it.

Who and the farmer?!

2008-11-13T17:30:00.002-05:00

To Emilie.

Click me and turn on your speakers
Enjoy!!

oh yeah, and ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE!

-Linny

Take Twenty Five!

2008-11-12T14:47:00.004-05:00

Never have I felt as old as I do now -- then again, I've never been as old as I am now -- whoa cosmic! Anyway -- there's this girl I work with who was born in 1991 (ack!!) and she referred to me as "motherly" MOTHERLY! The same day I noticed that Presidents Choice brand is also celebrating its 25th anniversary this year. Here is a list of other things that are as old as me.

PC Products (Presidents Choice)
Cell phones - made available to the public by Motorola for the first time in 1983
Microsoft Word
Swatch brand watches
Linux 1-2-3
Cabbage Patch Kids
"Weird Al" Yancovic's career -- debut release of "Ricky" in February 1983.
J. Crew
Micheal Jackson's "Thriller" album
CD's introduced by Phillips and Sony
Britain's 1 pound coin
The first three-dimensional reconstruction of a human head in a CT
Lap Top Computers (made my Compaq -- ran about $3000 each)
Karaoke machines
HBO Films
Super Mario Bros (the arcade game -- the NES, and subsequent home game came out 2 years later)
Costco
AT&T
LensCrafters
Plinko!
CMT, TNN, and the Disney Channel
Drug Abuse Resistance Education (D.A.R.E to keep kids off drugs!
The Moonwalk
Blackadder
Entertainment Weekly magazine
Wheel of Fortune, and Jeopardy (in syndication)

and my personal favourite....
the internet!!

Lest We Forget

2008-11-11T17:34:00.001-05:00

Dave's not here man!

2008-10-30T23:28:00.003-04:00

As if things weren't bad enough in the world currently, the BBC has just released news that David Tennant will not be reprising his role as the tenth Doctor on the awesomely awesome Doctor Who. We all kind of knew this was coming -- with the reign of Russel T. coming to an end, and the truncated series next year -- but its still a dark day for Whovians and fangirls everywhere. As a tribute here's a list of my favourite 10th Doctor quotes.

10.
Detective-Inspector Bishop: Start from the begining, tell me everything you know.
Doctor: Well, for starters, I know you can't wrap your hand around your elbow and make your fingers meet.

9.
Martha: What's that?
The Doctor: Sonic screwdriver.
Martha: Well if you're not going to tell me.
The Doctor: No really, see? It's a screwdriver and it's.... sonic.
Martha: What else have you got - laser spanner?
The Doctor: I did, but it was stolen by Emmeline Pankhurst. Cheeky woman.

8.
Dame Kelly Holmes Close resident: [To the Doctor, who is crouched on his lawn] What's your game?
The Doctor: [Turning round quickly] Snakes and Ladders? Quite good at...squash? [pause] I'm being facetious, I...there's no call for it.

7.
[Thinking they are in Rome]
Donna: Have you been here before?
Doctor: Yes I have, and before you ask, that fire had nothing to do with me. Well, a little bit...

6.
The Doctor: I like that, "Allons-y". I should say allons-y more often. Look sharp Rose Tyler, allons-y! And then it would be really brilliant if I met someone called Alonso, 'cause then I could say allons-y Alonso every time....

5.
Tenth Doctor: D'ya need this? [offers him the sonic screwdriver]
Fifth Doctor: Nah, I'm fine.
Tenth Doctor: Oh, no, of course. You mostly went hands-free didn't you? Like, "Hey, I'm the Doctor. I can save the universe using a kettle and some string! And look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable!"

4.
Martha: Magic and stuff, that's a surprise. It's all a bit Harry Potter.
The Doctor: Wait till you read book seven- oh, I cried!

3.
Rose: Oh, here's trouble. What you been up to?
The Doctor: Oh, this and that. Became the imaginary friend of a future French aristocrat, picked a fight with a clockwork man... [A whinny is heard from off screen] Oh, and I met a horse.
Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The Doctor: Mickey, what's pre-revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!

2.
The Doctor: Yeah! Listen, gotta dash. Things happening. Well… four things. Well, four things and a lizard.

1.
General Staal: We have an intruder!
Doctor: How'd he get in? In-tru-da window?

What's in my purse? Volume 1

2008-10-16T00:49:00.003-04:00

Those of you who knew me in Highschool will no doubt remember I was constantly emptying my pockets of a lot of random things. I'm not sure why I collect things so much, I'm not really a pack rat -- but I always tend to carry a lot on my person. Since growing up I've moved onto having a purse to carry everything in. Which is better because I can A) carry more stuff and B)it doesn't look like I have weird protuberances growing out of my body. After taking the bus from Kingston to Hamilton after Thanksgiving I emptied out my purse -- this is what I found.

Eyedrops (5 bottles all different kinds)
1 bottle of Codeine
1 Bottle of Tylenol with Codeine
2 Pirate Style Eyepatches
My Wallet (thats another entry itself!)
My iPod
Extra set of headphones
Cell Phone
A Book of Canadian Stamps
2 American Stamps
3 Pens (2 blue 1 red)
1 Pencil
Bus ticket stub (Kingston - Toronto)
10 Ride Go Ticket (6 rides left)
A Double Cheeseburger (which I forgot I had and promptly ate)
A Bottle of orange juice
a bottle of water
2 Tubes of Chapstick (1 Chocolate Raspberry, 1 Raspberry)
An Appointment card for the eye doctor
A Business Card for Big B Comics in Hamilton
A Roll of Scotch Tape (this surprised me)
3 Safety Pins
A Bottle of Hand Sanitizer
The "Go" section of the Hamilton Spectator (which I found on the bus and meant to read, but never did).
Stick of concealer

Monocular Profiling

2008-09-30T18:43:00.001-04:00

Cyclops, Pirates, Daleks --- all villains right? Sure you get the cool pirates like Jack Sparrow, or the nice cyclopses like Leela (of Futurama) or Mike (of Monsters Inc), but generally these groups are all considered pretty mean, brutal and well villainous. What if there was a cause for all this anger and brutality? I think there might be. Notice how these 3 groups are all occularly impaired? Having recent eye surgery myself I've come to understand how important having two eyes is. I've been bumping into things, I've been knocking stuff over, dropping things -- not to mention the searing pain in my recovering eye. All and all its pretty exasperating! Have I been crankier lately? You bet! You can ask any of the people who still talk to me. I've been quick to anger, and have pretty much no patience. Maybe this is where a life of monocular vision leads you. Maybe pirates rob people because they got fired from knocking over the display case at the China Shop they worked at. Maybe the cyclops was sick of getting funny looks at the MTO so went to go live in a cave and eat anyone who dared cross his path. Maybe the Daleks aren't the most evil race in the universe after all, maybe they're just frustrated and tired of the strain of only seeing out of one eye(stalk). I say -- give these poor misunderstood creatures a break, sure they're angry, but close one of your eyes for a couple of days, and see how cheerful you are. Cut us some slack, and let us rob you, eat your children, or destroy your planet.