Undefined Success Rate

Long Overdue!

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 22:55:00 +0000

I'm back! Although I never really left, just got a new computer with a keyboard that doesn't really work, and makes typing really painstaking and annoying. I came accross an article today "the worst album covers of the decade" and I had to post a comparison.

First MC Hammers "Look Look Look" Album Cover

And now...Doctor Who.

I assume this will lead to some reslly awesome crossovers. Or some really terrible fanfic.

...a tropical heatwave!

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 10:44:00 +0000

Today Emilie pointed out that it is day 12 of the heatwave. I don't know if that's right but it sure feels like it. I would just like to point out that I never complained about the rainy, cool July we had - therefore it's unfair that I'm this hot.

BRING BACK THE COLD SUMMER!

Favourite Songs: Musicals

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 18:15:00 +0000

I'm not sure if this is nerdier or less nerdy than my classical music list. But here we go! Favourite songs from musicals (many of which I haven't actually seen) and my favourite performers of said songs.

1. With One Look - From Sunset Boulevard (performed by Petula Clark)

2. Sunset Boulevard - From Sunset Boulevard (performed by John Barrowman)

3. Sweet Transvestite - From Rocky Horror - Anthony Stewart Head

4. Ya Got Trouble - The Music Man - Robert Preston

5. On The Rise - Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog - Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day

Really anything from Dr. Horrible, it's so hard to pick one.

6. Wig in a Box - Hedwig and the Angry Inch - John Cameron Mitchell

Sad that he's prettier than me.

7. At The Opera Tonight - Repo: The Genetic Opera - Anthony Head, Alexa Vega, Sarah Brightman, Paul Sorvino, Bill Mosley, Ogre, Paris Hilton et al.

Favourite Songs: Classical

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 12:22:00 +0000

My lists of favourite music tends to rotate a lot. Not only favourite songs, but favourite genres as well. Lately I've been listening to a lot of Classical again, it's soooo good! Here are some of my favourite (lesser known pieces).

1. The Castle (#4 Bydlo) from Pictures at an Exhibition by Mussorgsky

2. First Suite in Eflat for Military Band - Gustav Holst

3. English Folk Song Suite (Seventeen Come Sunday) - Raiph Vaughn Williams

4. Symphony #1 (Titan) - Mvt 3 - Gustav Mahler

5. Finlandia - Jean Sibelius

TV Shows You Should Invest Time in

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 23:32:00 +0000

Do you have a lengthy recovery coming up? Last year when I had my numerous eye surgeries I used my down time to catch up on TV. Since then I've used various "downtimes" (that on is in quotes because it wasn't really downtime, it was time when I didn't feel like doing anything producttive) to rent/buy/borrow DVDs of entire TV series and watch the whole thing in a couple of sittings. I can't believe I used to watch TV week to week like a savage! Anyway below is a list of my favourite TV shows to watch marathon style.

1. Lost (Seasons so far 5, hours of investment about 76)
As my sister says this "is a lot of show". It's not the type you can watch out of order, or sporadically, so if you've got a lot of time on your hands, and you're able to pay attention for a while this is a great series. Highly addictive as most of the episodes end in a WTF cliffhanger. I can't imagine having to wait months to find out what was in that hatch!

2. Life on Mars (UK) (Seasons 2, hours of investment 16)
Unlike the US version the original series is fantastic! Creative and dark, but funny and quotable as well. Phillip Glenister and John Simm are a perfect match. The DVDs are finally coming out in region one this summer. Do yourself a favour and check it out. I loved this series so much I bought the region 2 DVDs to watch on my sisters laptop.

3. Mad Men (Seasons so far 2, hours of investment about 25)
Slow moving but so worth it! It's not the most action packed show, but it sure looks nice. The characters are interesting and multidimensional, and the subtlety in the writing is superb. Each episode looks like a mini movie, and costs about as much to make.

4. Arrested Development (Seasons 3, hours of investment about 27)
If you haven't watched this show yet then you're missing out. Probably the cleverist sitcom of all time, I can watch it again and again and never get tired of it. Watch the first few episodes in order, but once you get a feel for the characters you can bounce around without losing much.

July is List Month!

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 23:09:00 +0000

Apparently the first week of July is list week for the Toronto Star. Since I don't blog every day (or every month for that matter -- sheesh), I've decided to celebrate list week all July! Awesome Sauce!

Today's list --
Real Side Effects as stated in the commercial for Lyrica (an anticonvulsant/neuropathic pain treatment)

* Dizziness
* Drowsiness
* Coordination problems
* Weight gain
* Dry mouth
* Infections
* Headaches
* Accidental injury
* Shakiness (tremors)
* Memory loss, problems concentrating, or slow thinking
* Constipation
* Speech problems
* Weakness
* Increased appetite
* Problems walking
* Twitching
* A spinning sensation
* Chest pain
* Gas
* Unexplained pleasant or happy feelings
* Vomiting
* Back pain
* Bladder control problems
* Flu-like symptoms (such as body aches and chills)
* Low blood sugar
* Nervousness
* Fatigue
* Feeling abnormal or drunk
* Sinus infections
* Joint pain
* Muscle spasms.
* Signs of congestive heart failure, including difficulty breathing and water retention or swelling (especially in the hands, legs, or feet)
* Unusual bruising or bleeding
* An irregular heart rhythm
* Any vision changes, including blurred vision or double vision
* A need to take more Lyrica than prescribed, especially if you think you may be dependent or addicted to Lyrica
* Unexplained muscle pain or weakness, especially if accompanied by a fever and fatigue
* Anxiety or confusion
* Signs of an allergic reaction, including unexplained rash, hives, itching, and unexplained swelling
* Suicidal thinking or behavior
* Sensitivity to the sun
* A stiff neck
* Hangovers
* Canker sores
* Anemia
* Hiccups
* Hair loss
* Dry skin
* Dry eyes
* Taste changes
* Kidney stones
* Menstrual problems.

yikes.

Sounds of Summer

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Thu, 28 May 2009 18:20:00 +0000

Even before I read Melinda's playlist post I was planning on doing my own. When you drive as much as I do (about 250+ KM a week) you plow through playlists pretty quickly. I'm really fond of the one I have now thanks to a few of my own simple rules.

1. Never put the same artist on twice (unless the songs sound very different -- which is pretty much never).
2. Keep all songs under 5 minutes. My attention span seems to run out at about three and a half minutes but if its a great song I'll listen to up to four but after that I'm usually bored.
3. Try to mix up genres and tempos and styles.
4. Put at least two mellow songs on back to back - this will be a good place to start the CD if you're driving in the early morning or evening, and don't want to get too pumped up.
5. Make sure you put on songs you like. This seems obvious -- but many times I've put on songs I didn't really know, but liked the band. Bad idea, you'll just keep skipping to the next song.

With this in mind here is my current playlist.

1. The Mending of the Gown - Sunset Rubdown (from Random Spirit Lover, released 2007)

2. Major Tom (Coming Home) - Peter Schilling (Error in the System, 1983)

3. Breakthru - Queen (The Miracle, 1989)

4. Lipgloss - Pulp (His & Hers, 1994)

5. When Doves Cry - Prince (Purple Rain, 1984)

6. Decision/Indecision - Atomic Rooster (In Hearing Of, 1971)

7. Wonderful, Wonderful - Johnny Mathis (Wonderful, Wonderful, 1957)

8. F.E.A.R - Ian Brown (Music Of The Spheres, 2001)

9. Voo Doo Child - Rogue Traders (Here Come the Drums, 2005)

10. Happy Hour - The Housemartins (London 0 Hull 4, 1986)

11. Thrill Seeker - The Divine Comedy (Fin de Sièclem, 1988)

12. J.Lo vs K.Co vs. S.Wo - Lenlow (Independent, 2004 click here for website)
{Mash up Between Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box; Nirvana - The Man Who Sold the World; Stevie Wonder - Superstition; J-Lo - Jenny from the Block }

13. Brand New Day - Neil Patrick Harris (Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog Soundtrack, 2009)

14. Photocorners - The Lovely Feathers (Hind Hind Legs, 2006)

15. Gamma Ray - Beck (Modern Guilt, 2008)

16. Mongoloid - Devo (Q. Are We Not Devo? A. We Are Devo! 1977)

17. Lessons Learned from Rocky I to Rocky III (Handcream for a Generation, 2002)

18. Sabotage - Beastie Boys (Ill Communication, 1994)

19. Time to Pretend - MGMT (Oracular Spectacular, 2008)

That's all for now folks. I expect I'll be sick of these songs come July.

Nerd it up! (again!)

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Wed, 20 May 2009 22:09:00 +0000

Apparently May 25th isn't just Towel Day but also "Nerd Pride Day" that's a lot to celebrate! This day celebrates the right for everyone to be a geek. It started in Spain in 2006 a quick list of rights and responsibilities was made up for nerds as well.

A manifesto was created to celebrate the first Nerd Pride Day which included the following list of basic rights and responsibilities of nerds.

Rights:

The right to be even nerdier.
The right to not leave your house.
The right to not have a significant other and to be a virgin.
The right to not like football or any other sport.
The right to associate with other nerds.
The right to have few friends (or none at all).
The right to have all the nerdy friends that you want.
The right to not be "in-style."
The right to be overweight and have poor eyesight.
The right to show off your nerdiness.
The right to make an attempt at being as nerdy as Morgana Summers, and the right to fail.
The right to develop serious crushes on Randall Munroe & Bo Burnam, as opposed to James Franco. (See 12).
The right to execute shameless self advertisement via the Wikipedia Geek Pride Day page. (See 12).
The right to carry a thesaurus with you at all times.
The right to falsely assume the surnames Finkleton, Waldman, Stratzer and Krukemeyer.
The right to take over the world.

Responsibilities:

Be a nerd, no matter what.
Try and be nerdier than anyone else.
If there is a discussion about something nerdy, you must give your opinion.
Save any and all nerdy things you have.
Do everything you can to show off your nerdy stuff as though it were a "museum of nerdiness."
Don't be a generalized nerd. You must specialize in something.
Attend every nerdy movie on opening night and buy every nerdy book before anyone else.
Wait in line on every opening night. If you can go in costume or at least with a related t-shirt, all the better.
Don't waste your time on anything not related to nerddom.
Try to take over the world!

(Geek rights and responsibilites found on Wikipedia, T-shirt available at ThinkGeek)

DON'T PANIC!!

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Wed, 20 May 2009 00:05:00 +0000

This Monday (May 25th) is Towel Day!

Towel Day is a day for fans to celebrate the life and work of Douglas Adams, authour of The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, by carrying a towel around with them all day. The first celebration of Towel Day was in 2001, two weeks after Adams' death. The towel, is widely regarded by Intergalactic Hitch Hiker's as the most useful of useful objects -- as explained in this quote from The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in "Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)

So if you love the Hitch Hiker's guide, or Douglas Adams grab your towel and take it with you wherever you go! And if you haven't read the Hitch Hiker's guide books, I suggest you do so! This is year is the 30th anniversary and they are being republished in North America in the fall! Share and Enjoy!

Free Comic Book Day

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Sat, 02 May 2009 03:25:00 +0000

Tomorrow (May 2nd) is Free Comic Book Day! It's exactly what it sounds like, most independent comic book stores in North America will be offering free comics all day! For realsies! Big B in Hamilton has free food too!

(Gate)Way to ruin my night!

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 22:13:00 +0000

Don't buy a Gateway computer!

Well, ok you can buy one but God help you if you need to speak to their customer service or tech support. I should have known when the website said "100% US based support service" if I have any American readers I'm sorry but you Yanks just aren't as polite as us Canadians are used to. I was talking online for nearly an hour with Gateway, and for some reason they informed me I was unable to purchase a replacement AC Adapter for a lap top that was purchased less than four months ago. I wasn't asking for a free adapter, even though their computer came with a 1 year warranty and was purchased in December, all I wanted to do was get an adapter and pay money for it. If Gateway doesn't want to take my money -- Fine. I hate them. They are even douchier than my Emilie.

It's a God Awful Small Affair

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 01:11:00 +0000

So my sister Emilie (the Douchebag) has been living with me for about a week. Things are going well, it's like she's my wife in the 50s. I go to work, and she cooks and cleans. Everything seemed to be going great. Until this weekend. I ordered the Life on Mars (UK) DVDs and we've been watching them all -- I fell asleep at around 1am last night, and she watched the SERIES finale without me! I know! What a douchebag!! I've already seen the ending but I wanted to be there when she saw it, because its so awesome. Am I over reacting? Most likely, but damn it she's my pseudo 50s wife and if she does it again she'll get a taste of the back of my hand.

Also look how sad Emilie made Sam Tyler.

Happy 3.14!

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 20:50:00 +0000

Happy Pi Day Everyone!
Celebrate any way you want! It's an excuse to be irrational! (see what I did again?)

A Little More Topical Hilarity

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 19:23:00 +0000

Jon Hamm as Lex Luthor? How can this not be made of win!? Even in a bald cap the man is still dead sexy!

"Lex Luthor Bailout" with Jon Hamm - watch more funny videos

Dream Car!

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:33:00 +0000

I got my rental car today for the Birthday Parking Lot Massacre. For those of you who don't know, whilst I was at work and my sister was shopping (she took my car) somebody hit my car in the parking lot of Value Village. The guy apparantly got out, looked at the damage (pretty severe, though superficial) and got back in his car and drove away. Luckily someone saw it and got the license plate down! Hooray! I finally got the car in the shop today (it took a while to get everything approved because it was a hit and run) and there is over $2000 worth of damage. Sheesh! Anyways I got my new rental which I am totally in love with and don't want to give back ever! It's a 2009 Kia Rio LX Hatchback -- and its ORANGE! I'm in love!
Oh yeah -- and the hit and run happened on my birthday. Bummer.

Rite of Spring

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 05:52:00 +0000

Today it felt like Spring. It started off warm but rainy -- which made it too hot for me to sleep and to dark for me to get up. This resulted in me lying in bed too long and being late for work. All was forgiven however when the sun came out around 1pm just as I was finishing up at my last clients! I drove around Hamilton for a large chunk of the afternoon with the windows down and it was awesome! I decided to give some sort of purpose to my drive, instead of aimlessly going across the city just because it was warm enough to keep the windows down, so I did something I'd always wanted to do. I checked out the Devil's Punchbowl in Stoney Creek. It was so cool! For anyone who I haven't told about this yet the Devil's Punchbowl is a natural rock formation caused by glacial activity some 450 million years ago. That's amazing enough right there! But the "bowl" itself is a 2.2 km (circumference) circular gorge with a 40m ribbon waterfall flowing into it. The view from the top also provides a view of Hamilton Bay and Stoney Creek, and on a clear day you can even see Burlington (or so I'm told). There is also a large iron cross that some normal guy erected on his on volition. I find that kind of creepy. Anyway if you're in the Hamilton area check it out!

Two Peas in a Pod(cast)

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:00:00 +0000

Allright, so here is my first ever podcast. I made it with Erin in mind. I think its kind of lame but she'll like it. She likes pretty much everything I do, sometimes I think we share the same brain.

Also Melinda dared me to do a podcast so -- in your face Melinda!

Time to Read!

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:09:00 +0000

This is a post especially for Melinda!
She posted on her blog that she wants to read a book a month, and then asked for some suggestions. Well Melinda here you go!

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Neffinegger
I know you said that you weren't really into sci-fi/fantasy, but this is a really good character study as well as a great story that just happens to fall into the sci-fi genre. The book features the complicated love story between Henry De Tamble, a Chicago Librarian who suffers from "Chrono Displacement" disorder; he randomly dissapears without warning and ends up in the past or future. This makes for an incredibly complicated life, and lots of paradoxes come up. For example he meets his wife for the first time when he is 28, and she is 20, however at this point she has known him all her life, as he has been visiting her in his future/her past. It's a very interesting concept, a compelling story, and thoroughly enjoyable read.

MAUS by Art Speigleman
This is probably the best book I've read all year. It's a graphic novel about the holocaust. It's the true story of Art Speigelman's grandfather's experiences in Europe during the second world war. Including time spent in the ghetto, hiding in walls, and at various concentration camps. Some of the images and lines of this book have stuck with me long after I read it. It's a graphic novel, so it sa quick read (there are two parts, just over 100 pages I think). Oh, did I mention that the Jews are portrayed as mice and the Germans as cats? It's weird, but really effective.

A Splinter in the Heart by Al Purdy
Al Purdy’s only novel, A Splinter in the Heart, is an unforgettable coming-of-age story that unfolds against the real-life tragedy of what came to be known as the Trenton Disaster. Set in 1918, it tells the story of sixteen-year-old Patrick Cameron and the events that will change him – and the Ontario town in which he lives – forever. Over the course of one summer and fall, Patrick finds love with a girl whose betrayal he cannot foresee, confronts the death of his beloved grandfather, and comes to terms with a neighbourhood rival. All the while, his hometown of Trenton lives precariously in the shadow of a dynamite factory, a sinister reminder of the Great War, which brought such prosperity to the town. Vivid with character and event, and evocative of time and place, A Splinter in the Heart is a moving portrait of a young man’s journey into adulthood in an era of change.

Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - by Douglas Adams
Ok, this is sci-fi too. But it's also a classic. Best book ever, if you haven't read it already (which I'd be shocked if you hadn't) then you must! All the books in the trilogy (there are 5, well 5 and a half) are good, but the first two (this and The Restaurant at the End of the Universe) are the best. Seriously read this book! Also if you've seen to movie and didn't like it. That's ok because thee was so much crammed in that movie it would be near possible to follow without reading the book first. If you've seen the BBC mini series and didn't like it, then you're stupid, or you just don't appreciate the early British Sci-Fi charm (ie dodgy costumes, accents, wobbly setpieces and all round low production values).

Square Root Day!

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 00:26:00 +0000

I'm posting this early so that you all have time to get your ducks in a row in order to celebrate.

March 3, 2009 (this coming Tuesday) is Square Root Day!

Why is square root day so important? Because there are only 9 a century! Square Root day is celebrated on any day when both the month number, and the day number are the square root of the last two digits of the year. For example

01/01/01 - January 1st, 2001
02/02/04 - February 2nd, 2004
03/03/09 - March 3rd, 2009
04/04/16 - April 4th 2016
05/05/25 - May 5th, 2025
06/06/36 - June 6th 2036
07/07/49 - July 7th 2049
08/08/64 - August 8th, 2064
09/09/81 - September 9th, 2081

So you see? There aren't that many! How are you going to celebrate square root day? I've heard that people buy root vegetables (potatoes, carrots, radishes etc. etc. ) cut them into squares and eat them. That's all well and good, but seeing as we live in a three dimensional world -- doesn't that make them cubes? Not squares? If that's the case we'll have to wait until March 3rd 2027 for the next Cube Root Day!

In any case -- I hope your Square Root Day is "radical!" (See what I did there?)

Playlist Volume 1: For Erin to Work Out By

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 01:02:00 +0000

1. Clint Eastwood by Gorrilaz - kind of mellow but with a distinct enough beat that you can still count reps to it. Also not so mellow that you're gonna fall asleep. Also funky as hell.

2. L Wells by Franz Ferdinand - a bit of a quicker tempo, gets you moving a bit. Doesn't go all funky with the meter like other FF songs do. This song is also the only song I've found to date with the name Lindsay in it, so it rocks.

3. Devil's Answer by Atomic Rooster - The tempo of this song is just about perfect for me to do repetitive things by (I really shouldn't end sentences with prepositions at). The tempo also picks up as the song progresses

4. Stronger by Kanye West - Now if this was a workout mix for ME it would be the original Daft Punk version, however the original is such a good song that anything that samples it is also rockin.

5. I Was Born (A Unicorn) by The Unicorns - Another uptempo fun song. The hemiolas may throw you off if you're counting reps -- but this way your excercising your brain too.

6. Detox by King of Pants - Mashups are great for doing anything that requires energy. This song combines the awesome beats and funk of Toxic with the soulfull wailing of Rehab. Ahhh Amy Winehouse and Brittney Spears -- together at last!

7. Hot Patootie (Bless My Soul) by Meatloaf - Yes, thats right Meatloaf. The most rockinest song from the Rocky Horror Picture Show -- it just makes you want to get up and dance! Hot Patootie!

8. Don't Stop Me Now by Queen - Fun and upbeat. The lyrics just make you feel energized "I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars!... like an atom bomb I'm gonna oh, oh, oh explode!!

9. E-Pro by Beck - While this may not be Beck's best song. It is by far his most rockin, I think at least. Another one you just want to dance to.

10. Single Ladies by Beyonce -- I DARE you do listen to this song and not do the locomotion!

11. Holland 1945 by Neutral Milk Hotel - Great GREAT song, also really upbeat and funky. Great to move to, unfortuneatly its about the Holocaust -- so don't listen to the lyrics.

12. Conquest by the White Stripes - This song is great for getting psyched.

13. Look Good in Leather - Cody Chestnut and the Rolling Stones - Another great song for getting psyched, and another impossible not to dance song.

14. Voo Doo Child by Rogue Traders -- This dance hit is actually pretty rockin. Sure its poppy as can be, and not all that complex, but who needs that.

15. Dr. Who by Bullamakanka -- I know I know, a Doctor Who song? Really!? Trust me this song is really funky and fun, and great to move to. Ignore the lyrics if you must.

16. Mexican Radio by Devo - Man I love Devo. This song is a little more languid, can be a little more relaxed when moving to this one.

17. Kids by MGMT - this one is still nice and steady, but a little slower. It's still really easy to dance to.

18. There Ain't Half Been Some Clever Bastards by Ian Drury and the Blockheads - Time to start winding down. This song is still fun and bouncy but a little slower for winding down the workout.

18. I'll Believe in Anything by Wolf Parade - This is just a GREAT song. A good way to wrap things up. I always feel good after listening to a song this great.

19. Burn the Witch by Queens of the Stone Age - this song forces you to slow down a bit. A good way to relax after a work out, it still rocks though.

20. Decision/Indecions by Atomic Rooster - I know its the second song by AR but its really nice and mellow and good for calming down.

TV Crossover Madness!

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 23:48:00 +0000

February is sweeps month. Last week we had a riveting Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice Crossover -- *yawn. I'm sure I could come up with some better ones. All right, maybe some of mine would involve some serious travelling, to the UK for instance -- or back in time, but TV budgets are pretty big today, we'll just throw some product placements in there and we're off!

On an exciting new Episode of Mad Men, we are treated to a flash back of Don Draper/Dick Whitman fighting in the Korean War. We see Don/Dick in the hospital after the explosion that killed the real Don. Dick/Don is lying in his bed, and as the army officials are making their way around handing out medals and discharges Dick/Don starts writhing in pain. Apparently there was some shrapnel left in Dick/Don's chest and he needs surgery right away. The army calls in the best chest surgeons in all of Korea -- MASH's Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John (and of course Frank Burns would insist he came along) Hawk and Trap save the day (natch) and they all celebrate by retiring to swamp and consuming a swimming pool's worth of gin, and just for fun they fill Frank's boots with pudding.

On a much publicised mulitnetwork crossover. The doctors at Sacred Heart Hospital (Scrubs) have a case that not even Dr. Cox can solve. They transfer the patient to Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in NJ so the famous diagnostician Dr. House can take a look at him. At first House couldn't care less, until he finds out that the patient a Mr. John Smith isn't just a nut, but a brilliant doctor himself. We see John Smith's X-rays and he's got two hearts! As you may have guessed this patient isn't really John Smith, but none other than Doctor Who! Ends up he's here to rescue NJ from an evil, over dramatic/whiny/boring alien we know as Dr. Remy Hadley AKA 13. The Doctor does a lot of running and sonic screwdrivering and eventually traps the unwatchable Dr. 13 in some sort of simulated reality where everyone's life is more dramatic than hers and we don't have to listen to her anymore. The Doctor impressed my House's brilliance and cynicism offers to take him on as a companion and travel through time and space. House scoffs at this, and mocks the Doctor using a cheesy British accent. The Doctor leaves, alone again, and House confides in Wilson that he would have liked to have gone off in the TARDIS, but is afraid that he wouldn't be able to do all the running that is required.

Groceries For Dummies: Lesson 1 The Check-Out

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 21:23:00 +0000

Working as a cashier on and off for the last 10 years has shown me that the common consumer has no idea how to shop. Sure they may know how to bargain hunt, or clip coupons, or they might know where things are in their usual store. What most people don't know is that with a bit of patience and understanding they can make their grocery shopping a quick and painless activity. First in a series of lessons I give you Lesson 1: The Check-Out.

Ledge: This is the part of the checkout that is closest to the store. It is made of metal. It's sole purpose is to in case the conveyor unit, or "belt". The ledge has no moving parts and therefore items placed on the ledge will not advance with the belt.

Belt: This is the black rubberized conveyor belt on which you place your groceries. The belt is designed to move towards the cashier so that they don't have to reach for your groceries. The specifics of how the belt moves will be discussed below. People will put anything on the belt, including leaking bloody meat, used Kleenex, and money; thus the belt is very dirty. Placing any food you don't intend on washing (like unwrapped baked goods) or your children on the belt isn't a very good idea.

Dividers: Most cashes come equipped with two dividers. Sometimes they have the store logo or motto on them, and sometimes they are just plain black plastic bars. The sole purpose of these dividers is to DIVIDE one person's groceries from the next. When you have finished placing your items on the belt, it is a good idea to place the divider at the end of your order. That not only ensures that the next person's order won't be mixed with yours but also signals the next person that you are finished and they can begin placing their items on the belt. That being said if there is a divider on the belt it is not necessary to leave a space before you start loading your groceries. Cashiers universally understand the purpose of the divider, and will not start ringing in groceries after the divider reaches the front of the belt. Leaving a large space on the belt, or waiting for the cashier to complete the previous order is unnecessary, and greatly slows the process for you, the cashier, and anyone behind you in line.

Metal Funnel: This is a triangular piece of metal that sits at the front of the belt on the side closest to the customer. This funnel is designed to push groceries away from the side of the belt and prevent them from getting lost behind the scanning unit. If something gets stuck underneath the funnel it can easily be flipped up. It is a good idea when loading your groceries on the belt to leave a little room on that side to prevent groceries from being squished by the funnel.
Infrared Light Sensor: This is an invisible laser like light that runs across the surface of the belt closest to the cashier. On one side of the belt the light is produced, and on the other side the light is received. If this light is blocked and cannot be received, then the belt will no longer advance. If the light is uninterrupted the belt will pull forward until something blocks the light once more. It is common practice for a cashier to place a divider vertically in front of the sensor to prevent the belt from advancing continuously. Note that the advancement of the belt is completely dependant on the light sensor and that the cashier cannot control the stopping and starting of the belt, nor the speed in which the belt moves.

Keyboard: This is used by the cashier to key in quantities of produce items, to manually key in scan codes, to indicate the amount and type of payment, and most often to input produce codes. Pushing buttons haphazardly will most likely result in an error on your bill. So no, it is not OK for your child to play with it.

Scale Controls: Located right next to the scale/scanner most of these units have 2 buttons. One resets the scale to zero, and the other increases the volume of the scanner.

Scale Scanner: Directly in front of the cashier is the scanner/scale. It is a delicate scale, capable to measuring as little as five grams (0.17 oz). The scanner is underneath the scale and works with an infrared light similar to that on the belt. The scanner reads the bar code on the item, which the computer (hidden below,or inside the belt) recognises and produces the price that is on file for that bar code. The cashier has no control over this process either. The prices are usually determined by central office, and are usually the same province wide.

Debit/Credit machine: Most people are familiar with this, if there is one clearly visible, then it is up to the customer to swipe his or her debit card, or tap their pay pass. IF you are not paying with a MasterCard that has Pay Pass, you must give your card to the cashier for them to swipe. The cashier will ensure the number is correct and once the charge has been approved, and signed for, they will return the card. It is acceptable for children to push the buttons on this machine as long as they are gentle, as this machine is only activated once the cashier pushes the "debit" or "credit" button.

Pricing Gun: Not all stores have these but most wholesale stores do. Inside the "gun" is a miniature, hand-held scanner. This is used when their are heavy items in the cart, or objects that are too heavy or awkward to manoeuvre over the scanner. That being said, if you choose to leave items in your cart, make sure the bar code is facing up so that the cashier can see it, and scan it.

Best of '08

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 03:12:00 +0000

Below are some of my favourite things from 2008.

Oracular Spectacular - MGMT
With three great singles (Time to Pretend, Electric Feel, and Kids) this album is solid. The songs are complex but incredibly catchy and singable.

Doctor Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog
Low Budget web only TV show made by Joss Whedon et al. Now available on DVD from Amazon, and on iTunes.

Man on Wire
A great documentary about tight rope walker Philippe Petit's daring and illegal high wire walk between the World Trade Center's twin towers in 1974. Dude -- he got the rope up there by shooting an arrow! How bad ass is that?

Wall-E
Cutest movie ever made! Seriously you'll die of cuteness. You'll also be singing the soundtrack of Hello Dolly! for 6 weeks afterwards.

Anthony Stewart Head
He kicked ass and took names as a legal assassin in the comic book style rock opera Repo! Plus he kicked ass and took names (in chainmail!) as the legendary Uther Pendragon (Arthur's dad) in BBC's Merlin.

Mad Men's season 2 Finale

Seriously how awesome was it when Peggy totally stuck it to Pete? This whole season was great but the payoff in the finale was a long time coming!

President's Choice Belgian Chocolate Ganache Biscuits
4 flavours, individually wrapped: Coconut & White Chocolate, Cappuccino & Milk Chocolate, Hazelnut Praline & Milk Chocolate, Orange & Dark Chocolate. Best cookies ever -- these are one of PC's new products that came out at Christmas. You can find them reduced now for $4.94 at your local Loblaws affiliate.

What not to say to the cashier

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 02:36:00 +0000

Everybody needs to eat, I get it. But not everyone has to make the same lame jokes to the cashier. I mean come on! I hear the following at least 12 times a shift and they were never funny.

1. "I only came in for one thing" -- as they load a cart full of groceries onto the belt.

2. "I just made it" -- as I examine their $50 bill to see if its counterfeit.

3. "Working hard or hardly working" -- shut up.

4. "It must be free" -- if something doesn't scan.

5. "Make sure you put the bread in its own bag" -- Really? Not under the cans? Bagging is so hard.

OH and 6. Telling me that the code I put in for produce isn't the real price. Example 4011 -- for bananas -- I know they don't cost $40.11 -- come on!

I'm sure there's more but I need to go to bed so I can get up and listen to these things again in the morning.

New Year, New Doctor

longtones@gmail.com (hip_bone) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 19:43:00 +0000

Matt Smith is the 11th Doctor
Not sure how I feel about this.